Hi guys I like Lana Del Rey

Being a bad bitch on the side might not appeal to fools like you.

Okay Lana, none of this makes sense. Why is he a fool? Because he’s not attracted to bad bitches? I don’t get it. Sidechicks don’t impress him? Good!

I probably missed the whole point. Wouldn’t be the first time.

Why do I love Lana’s music so much? Please tell me. I have no clue. It sounds like nothing else I listen to. Am I not supposed to have different genres of music I like, and multiple artists in each genre? Well I have no idea which genre Lana belongs to, and I have no interest in anyone else but her in that genre. 

Her music is known for its nostalgic feel. But what am I supposed to be nostalgic about at fucking 18?! (Okay wow, this is the first time I write “I am 18” without it being a lie. It’s kind of hard hitting for some reason.)

I honestly have no interest at all in oldies, old musicians, old films, old books, old aesthetics, old anything. Vintage means nothing to me. But Lana’s music has been called vintage many times, and I adore it. So what is the truth? 

Should I overthink music in the first place? I can’t make myself like or dislike something. I couldn’t stop myself from loving the Blurryface medley that one Youtuber did, which I discovered on an article which reported him sexually harrassing 14 year olds online. I hated his fucking guts and hated him even more for having so much talent he didn’t deserve. Out of all the sane people on earth, he had to get a great voice and an amazing sense for musical arrangements? I digress, but my point is that if I couldn’t stop myself from liking a medley by someone I wanted to hate, that meant I had no control over my taste.

So maybe I shouldn’t look for a reason for loving Lana. I just do. It’s weird, but it is what is is. Lots of critics think her fans listen to her music because they think it makes them cooler (it doesn’t), but I literally listen to it because – shocker – it sounds good. It sounds amazing. It sounds heavenly. I love heaven.

If some of you are still living under a rock, Lust For Life is her newest album released last week, and it has some of her best songs. My favorites are 13 Beaches, Cherry, Groupie Love, When The World Was At War We Kept Dancing, and Get Free; but the album is literally full of beautiful songs and you have to listen to it, simple.

Darling you can’t let everything seem so dark blue.

iReview: Joanne – Lady Gaga

Okay. Hi.

You know what I’ll just skip the ramblings to the end of this post, because 1) I’ll be boring off half of my potential readers and 2) I’m too lazy to even begin writing them tbh. Oh and 3) we have an emergency on our hands and it is that LADY FUCKING GAGA HAS JUST RELEASED HER FIRST POP ALBUM SINCE 2013, A DAY I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR SINCE WELL 2013. All the anticipation has built up to this point, and I can not be more ready. FUN FACT: last year in April, I opened my diary at a random page and marked it down, saying THIS is when I will hear LG5. That day was October 22nd. Ladies and gentlemen, I am a psychic. I honestly, HONESTLY still don’t believe this day has come.


In this post, I will be doing a track-by-track review/reaction to Lady Gaga’s newest studio album, Joanne, out October 21st. Its title references Gaga’s middle name, and her late aunt who passed away in 1974 because of lupus after she had been sexually assaulted. This is Gaga’s most stripped back, personal album yet, according to her.


HEEEEERE WE GO! (yes yes I have heard A-YO already.)

iReview: Joanne – Lady Gaga


1- Diamond Heart:

Let’s go omfg

Is this a piano?


YYYYYAAAAAAAAASSSSSS GOGO’IN go back to those roots Gags

Asshole broke her in? Rape?..




Wait Diamond Heart isn’t about her engagement ring? Right…

Can we talk about her vocals? Where do you hear vocals like these on any female album these days. SH00K


I always said I hate guitar+drums driven songs but this is FUCKING GOOD

Maybe because it’s Gaga and I’m biased but YES

Amazing way to start the album.

2- A-YO:

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa we go

Blow it ur face

Blow it in ur face

Blow it in ur blow it in ur face

This is so FUN. YES.

The beat sounds familiar but in the good way.



A.k.a the Chainsmokers who had shit to say about her in the press. What’s good? She ended those rats. Anyway.

You can’t NOT dance to this song! My body is involuntarily shaking.





This is a BOP.


Okay… I did not expect these ‘drumsies’.

Wait where is the piano? THIS IS NOT WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR

Why is this melody so… Uplifting? Her aunt just died.

Girl… Where do you think you’re goin’? (with this melody)

This sounds… Off. It’s a song about her aunt who died… It should feel sadder. It made people cry. Why am I not crying? I’M HERE TO CRY.

The chorus is really beautiful though, no question.

Alright, the more I listen to this song… I get it. The emotion is ‘implicit’. Her vocal delivery was done in one take according to her. I can feel her pain.

I need to give her a hug.


4- John Wayne:


HELLO JOHN WAYNE (btw notice how it sounds like ‘Joanne’ ‘John Wayne’ is this intentional?)










Hands down my favorite so far.




I want to scream JOHN WAYNE with her but my parents are sleeping so

Please hire this producer for the entirety of the next album

5- Dancin’ In Circles:




This feels like a Sia song. I LOVE A SIA SONG.

The prechorus! Amazing.



Am I the only one who feels like these songs are going way too fast? Like I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO PROCESS THE SLAYAGE

Gaga thank you for this So Happy I Could Die 2.0 yes thanks yes




This is such a dancey song. I LIVE.

6- Perfect Illusion:



One month later and this song is still amazing. Of course you’d know that if I fucking UPDATED MY BLOG THEN but oh well.




Like some people actually don’t like this.



And now the part with the background vocals that slay the entire universe


Her vocals are just UGH. I remember when I heard this the first time when it was released and how amazed I was.





And my favorite part: *dumdumdumdumdum* IILLLUUSIOOOOOONNNN

Still slays. Ugh.

7-Million Reasons:

Another one I have already heard a lot, and memorized.

Can we just appreciate this stripped back Gaga? We all asked for it. She might not be here for long so enjoy ha while she lasts.

The emotion in her voice is breathtaking. And that chorus hits you like one of her 5 vintage cars.

The best thing about this song for me is how I can sing the background vocals with her. I love background vocals. I feel special when I sing them. No I cannot explain this.


Breaks my heart to her her crying out like this. I’LL MEND UR BROKEN HEART MOM

Her voice…

Her fucking voice.

8- Sinners’ Prayer:

Lol sounds like Dangerous Woman is about to start




The vibe of this song is so captivating.

THE CHORUS. Can we just appreciate the chorus? WOW. It takes you on a ride in a few seconds. The melody changes from cheerful to somber back to hopeful then again to dark IN A MATTER OF SECONDS.


I am so impressed with this. And some people dismissed it as a ‘country song’.

Man, this album may just make me listen to country.

‘I can carry you but not your ghosts’. Tumblr here we come



Beautiful song.


9- Come To Mama:

Okay the title already has me shook.


Wait what jungle? Gags wyd







Wow. WOW. The lyrics though!

She’s talking about a scientist vs. a believer… The scientist = uses prism in physics. The believer = he believes in Noah’s arc (not really though but okay). But both result in… Rainbows! YES GAGAAAAAAAAA




Wait 3 verses?





The ending. This IS Mariah Carey ugh YES


10- Hey Girl (featuring Florence Welsh):







Their voices go so well together!


Personal thank you to Florence who probably is responsible for the amazing harps in this.

Does anyone notice the amazing strange synths in the background?!

Yep in the second chorus they are more than noticeable.




This fucking song. The melody. The production. The message. The two FUCKING BADASSES SINGING IT.



11- Angel Down:

And here come the emotions. This is about Trayvon Martin.

Yep. The intro alone is amazing.


I need a moment. I’m in awe.

Okay. Who produced this? I love you.

The lyrics are so touching. With that production, man I feel like going on a midnight walk and crying.

The chorus is unexpected. The sounds are angelic. This is not your regular ballad. This is much more.



Wow. What just happened?

The outro… it’s like a broken music box… I love this so fucking much.


Is it like a metaphor to sudden death?

Oh Joanne…

12- Grigio Girls:

This is the song about her best friend Sonja having cancer… here it goes.

Wait she’s that much older? 12 years? She looks much younger…

Okay… I kind of expected a bigger chorus…

The production sounds like it’s struggling to pick up. A shame. The lyrics are beautiful.

Watch your blues turn gold…

Make it all make sense…

Yep here are the feels.



Why do they sound like they have swallowed helium?

Lol of course Gaga had to outsing them all.


Okay there’s a laugh at the end that is just creepy as fuck.

13- Just Another Day:

Yes this is the one I heard her sing live on the radio!


This song is just so cute oh my god!

And after all… it’s just another day!

Okay tho but is that like a sax, a guitar, a synth, a dying cockroach…



I can just imagine her smiling and singing this in her studio. She’s happy. I’m happy.

14- Angel Down (Work Tape):

Oh, a more stripped down piano/guitar version. I like that! I wish there was one for Joanne.

I confess I like the original better, the production really adds to it.






When did she record this? She sounds different than how she did the rest of the album… so RAW. So PASSIONATE.

THOSE SCREAMS. I’d rather save an angel down.

And… it’s over.



This was what I call a fucking EXPEDITION.

The opening track couldn’t have set the tone better.

The title track felt anticlimactic at first, but it gets catchier, deeper and more meaningful with each listen.

Then it’s a string off amazing fun bops to dance to before Gaga hits us with the more ‘serious’ stuff.

The world is full of deceptions, things you never knew would turn out to just be illusions.

The world is full of people who will drive you insane, but who you can’t get away from.

The world is full of hatred and ignorance, humans who are destroying each other and themselves over their clash of ideas.

The world is full of women who are willing to step on each other to reach their wants, in a world still ruled by men, instead of helping each other up.

The world is full of innocent people who are dying every single day because of political agendas and inequality.

And we all just stand around.

This album was something I’ve been waiting to hear for eternity. And I’m finally blessed to do so. I’d never have expected something so powerful and deep from Gaga. She outdid herself, she surprised me and many, many others. It’s truly one of the highlights of her career. She has worked so hard to get here, and seeing her finally make the music SHE wants to make, is more than what I could ever ask for.

I’m in love with this music. Thank you, Gaga. Keep doing what you do.

Joanne is extremely proud of you.

Score: 9.5/10


Okay, so time for the promised ramblings. I have been beating myself up for not updating my blog for the past few months. The longer it went, the more urgent a ‘comeback’ felt, and the more hard it seemed to be to make. I couldn’t just turn up out of the blue uninvited and I couldn’t stay away like I never said goodbye (yes I know these are not the right lyrics but it had to fit the situation I’m talking about okay?). It had to be something BIG. HUGE. AND LET’S BE HONEST. IT DOESN’T GET HUGER THAN THIS.

I’m truly feeling bad about abandoning this blog with no notice like that. I want to write a second post explaining everything but I just *know* I’ll slack off and not do it. So I’ll try to put it all in here. After I quit my summer job, I spent one AMAZING month, and I was preparing for Blogwarts. Then I got caught up in it, and school started, my FINAL YEAR OF HIGHSCHOOL BEFORE COLLEGE ASDFGHJKL SO YEAH I’m overswamped with work, and that’s apart from extracurricular things like piano lessons and choir practice. Random thought, I really need to start working out tbh, I can’t keep feeling depressed every time I see a naked torso. So yeah.

I WANT TO BE BACK HERE SO BAD I MISS YOU ALL SO FUCKING MUCH. But I’m even slacking off my school work, what about this blog lololololol

Maybe I’ll start slacking off my school work with this blog? I HOPE SO! At least that’d be productive.

Okay, Goodnight! I have to listen to Mariah Carey’s earlier stuff, man where have I been she slayz. BuhByE

The time I almost cried – but I’m glad I didn’t.

I’m supposed to be on a break but I decided that I don’t care and I miss writing anyway.

As some of you might know (why do I start all my posts in subtly assuming that you already are up to date with everything going on in my life? That is so not cool me stop doing it), I started taking piano lessons last week, after years of wanting to. I still don’t why I just decided to do it.

Anyway, last week it was pretty fine, I did some preparatory exercices and I managed to not make too many mistakes. It was simple stuff and seeing as I am not completely new in piano (having taken some lessons many years ago aside from knowing how to play song melodies by ear) I did well.

This week though.

We started with the thing that was the reason I wanted to learn in the first place. The thing that always mind boggled me and made me feel like I could never achieve it.


Okay I’m kinda laughing at my stupidty now because the way I just said ‘Polyphony.’; it’s like I just revealed the world’s deepest secrets, or the plot twist to a hugely engaging crime novel. Ugh, movin’ on.

Anyway, what I mean by that is that I never knew how to play with my two hands and I always wanted to know how, but I also thought it’s way too complicated and I’d never be able to do it.

Turns out I wasn’t wrong at all. The most accurate way I can descrive how I played would be ‘Neville Longbottom’. Pre-adolescent version, of course.

I just couldn’t understand any of the notes. My fingers went drunk and hit the keys whenever they felt like it, and my hands were unnecessarily shaky. I kept making mistakes and trying again.

My teacher said ‘it was not bad for a first time’ but I was too old for that shit. I know that’s what you say to a little kid when you don’t have the heart to tell him he sucks.
She told me try again, and I did. And that’s where the tears started coming.

I felt desperate and disgusted with myself. I felt useless, like I’m a worthless piece of shit who doesn’t know how to read the simplest of music lines while on top of it all, the kid in the next room was playing perfectly. I was a total looser at that point, and I just wanted to stop and never speak of it again.

Luckily, that moment passed quickly. I was actually amazed at how fast I got so emotional and apalled and a minute later it was all back to normal.

Well, I knew I wasn’t going to succeed on the first try. I didn’t know I’d suck that bad, but I expected myself not to get it from the first go.

I had to promise myself on the spot that whatever happens, I was still going to keep trying until I have no choice but to quit. I wasn’t going to give up so easily on something I wanted for so long without trying my best for it first.

The lesson ended a while after that and my teacher told me to prepare those exercices for next week as homework along with some ridiculously easy theory exercices which made me wonder how awful and helpless she really thought I was.

After that, I went to my friend’s house to study (and I discovered that I am even more unprepared for the exams than I thought) then to choir (oh my God, guys. If only you could hear us. Ugh, I love this so much). Oh also I almost died in a car accident but then I didn’t. Phew. So yeah, it wasn’t until after I got back that I thought about piano again.

I tried to do the exercices again. It was still a fiasco.

I gave up and decided to go eat instead. I talked to some friends, complaining and nagging about how I almost cried and how difficult piano was and how I was a total loser and all that (am I really that annoying?). As I was talking to a certain blogger you probably all know (and call her Elm or something…), I had a thought. One of those deeply narcissitic but self-esteem boosting thoughts I frequently have.

‘Hey. You are you. You! You’re good at pretty much everything you set your mind to. If other people can do it, there’s absolutely no reason for you not to. Come on. You’ll make it. I know you will, because you are you.

I have no idea how self centered someone has to be to think like that, much less to actually believe himself.

Either way, it worked and it motivated me to go online and look for people with the same problem, as I always do when I have any problem. I don’t why, is it to find a solution? Or simply to just have someone you can relate to?

I suprisingly found a lot of people with my case: by-ear players who want to transition into learning properly and are having a hard time playing with both hands.

A lot of people suggested this method: practicing each hand alone, slowly, then fastly, then trying each measure by its own with two hands, taking it as slowly as we need until we are capable of playing the whole thing.

I didn’t really give that much thought and ignored it. Like fine, a method. Any real advice?

But then, as I once again found myself in front of the piano instead of studying, I decided to just try to follow the procedure.

(I feel like I have already detailed way too much stuff so meh I’ll just say it) IT FUCKING WORKED!

It took me more than an hour but I finally could play my two handed exercices okayishly, and on top of that I learned a song and it also worked which was SO awesome. The tune is so simple but hearing myself hitting those two notes at once without panicking and producing the right sound felt so fulfilling.

It filled me with hope. Hope that I’ll keep getting better and better as I practice more and more. Hope that I won’t have to quit when it gets too hard because I’ll work even harder and achieve what I want. Hope that one day I’ll be able to look back on this and say that this is where I started, and look where I am now.

It’s true that I spent the whole evening on the piano, not studying a word from the heap of lessons I still haven’t touched, but I don’t feel like it went to waste.

I am proud of myself, and I hope all of you get to say the same thing about yourselves; if not today, then tomorrow. Because we all have some things to be proud of, and by acknowledging these things, we let ourselves thrive and make these things even better.

Making my wish come true!

Today, I went to a music school and signed up for piano lessons.
It was not my first time having a shot at learning the instrument: I had taken some lessons for about 2 months in Grade 4 [STOP RIGHT THERE: I just went to search for my old piano book. After finding it and going through the pages I found out that it was more like 6 months. HOW THE FUCK COULD I HAVE SPENT 6 MONTHS LEARNING THE PIANO AND I BARELY REMEMBER ANYTHING?! I just tried playing some of the basic things in there and I suck so much.]
Well that was like 8 years ago. Wow.
Anyway, I don’t really remember if I started taking lessons back then for any purpose beside having an activity. I don’t think there was, because I became uninterested after a few months and just quit, never giving it much more thought.
In Grade 8, about 3-4 years ago, however, I decided to turn on my keyboard. It had been sitting in my room since fourth grade, just being there. It was back when I really stated to listen to music, especially Lady Gaga, and that’s when I became a huge fan of hers. So I was taking in all these awesome songs. I guess I just needed to regurgitate them.
That’s how I discovered how to play song tunes by ear.
Yep, I just went to that keyboard, tried all the different combinaisons there was until I hit the right note, and memorized the sequence.
I became truly amazed by how every melody could be played using this simple instrument. I even remember that I once started staring at my piano and thinking ‘Omg. All of the world’s songs that have ever been written and that will ever be written are inside this thing. HOW?!’
Well, soon, I found out that it wasn’t really a ‘simple’ instrument. There were tunes I just couldn’t get, which was frustrating. Also, I could only play stuff I had memorized, usually with lots of errors, and I had NO idea how people could play with two hands at once. Or even one hand, keeping every finger on a note. No matter how hard I tried, my hands could not be tamed!
I wished I had continued piano.
I literally spent years seeing people play and being jealous, getting a tinge of longing every time I saw a piano, desperately trying to make myself play better. I have no idea just WHY I didn’t just start taking piano again!
Looking back at it now, I honestly can not explain why I didn’t go back to piano. I clearly wanted it. What was wrong with me?!
But now things have changed. Yes, I can proudly say that I have finally decided that I want to learn piano. I need to be taught, because if I don’t, I’ll always feel this bitterness, I’ll always regret not doing it.
Better late than never!
What pushed me to sign up was my friend Mini. Yes, the same Mini I talked about about four months ago, when I posted about how I joined the school choir. It’s not a coincidence; Mini just loves music and wants people to love it too. I mean that’s what I deduced, you know, after he convinced me of doing both of these thimgs.
Joining the choir remains one of the best decisions I made last year, and that’s all thanks to him. So I really, really hope that the same scenario will repeat itself and that a few months from now, I’ll look back and be even more grateful for him.
So here’s to piano! To music! To new experiences! To friendship! To cheesy toasts! To doing well on my physics test after being convinced I wouldn’t!

I’ll miss you, 2015!


I’ll miss all the time I spent in class, laughing my heart out next to my friends.

I’ll miss the projects we had so much fun making and presenting.

I’ll miss the thrill of planning my friends’ birthdays. Picking the perfect gifts. Worrying everything will be ruined. Seeing their delighted faces.

I’ll miss the disbelief I felt when I walked into the Bookyard for the first time, completely astonished by the number of books surrounding me.

I’ll miss the thrill of receiving my first Harry Potter book, by a sweet friend. I’ll miss the feeling of utter accomplishments I felt when I finally completed my collection.

I’ll miss the albums I’ve heard, and the joy of hearing them for the first time.

I’ll miss the ecstasy of realizing I don’t have to do my exams at the end of the year, after studying all year long (and sometimes, not so much).

I’ll miss the moments when I made up with my friends after an argument. I will not miss the arguments.

I’ll miss the day my friends celebrated my birthday. The first time that ever happened.

I’ll miss the awe I felt when I laid eyes upon my majestic birthday cake. I’ll miss my friends’ satisfied smiles after that.

I’ll miss the day I finally decided to start my own blog. I’ll miss how exciting the prospect felt.

I’ll miss my Uncle’s wedding, and all the awesome events that ensued.

I’ll miss the feeling I had when I sold my first book at the Bookyard. How I instantly dashed to spend the money on a new book.

I’ll miss discovering that new book. Reading that new book. Falling in love with that new book. Deciding to blog because of that new book.

I’ll miss how anxious I was when I woke up on the first day of school. I’ll miss the relief I felt when I made sure my class was okay.

I’ll miss how satisfied I was after receiving my first grade of the term. How I swore to myself I shouldn’t accept anything less.

I’ll miss the feeling of accomplishment after I finished Insurgent in only two days, making it my fastest read. I will not miss Allegiant.

I’ll miss the day I made the decision of becoming more active in my life.

I’ll miss the day I decided to audition for the school choir. I’ll miss how amazing it felt when I was accepted.

I’ll miss my determination when I decided that it was time to be more fit, and joined a calisthenics group. I’ll miss the satisfaction of completing the exercises. I look forward to joining a proper gym in the coming year.

I’ll miss the inexplicable feeling of performing in a concert for the first time ever. Appreciating how beautiful we sounded, and how magical music just is.

I’ll miss the disbelief when I saw that copy of Harry Potter: Page To Screen for sale in the Bookyard at fives times less, and practically crying of joy. I’ll miss not even daring to touch it, and then reading it like a child playing with his favorite toy.

I’ll miss how proud I was when I was elected class president. I’ll miss all the cool stuff we came up with, and the projects we successfully executed.

I’ll miss decorating my class for Christmas. I’ll hate removing everything next week.

I’ll miss the anticipation of enrolling to the Spanish course, and the excitement of learning yet another language.

I’ll miss performing as an actor for the first time ever in front of the whole school. I’ll miss how it felt, delivering that last line.

I’ll miss every Miranda video I watched. I’ll miss how I loved her. I’ll miss buying her book and feeling like I just acquired a treasure. I’ll miss imitating her and making Elm laugh.

I’ll miss how awesome it felt to receive my French grades and realizing that they don’t need to drop just because I’m growing more and more in English.

I’ll miss writing my personal diary every single day, and decorating it with my musical obsessions. I’ll look forward to reading it sometime in the future and laugh at myself.

I’ll miss realizing that I actually have readers on this blog. I’ll never forget how amazing it felt to finally achieve this dream.

I’ll miss writing blog posts. The thrill of pushing that ‘Publish’ button. Waiting in anticipation for you guys to read them.

I’ll miss becoming a blogger. I’ll miss getting to know other bloggers. I’ll miss how beautiful it was to feel like I finally belong in this community. I’ll miss the love I felt whilst interacting with each and every one of you.

I’ll miss sitting here, typing away with a smile on my face as I look back on the best moments of this year. I’ll miss the anticipation of spending New Year’s Eve with my friends. I hope I’ll miss this night tomorrow!

I’ll miss you, 2015. Thank you for being the best year of my entire life.

12 Collabs of Christmas – DAY #5 – Instrumental Book Tag! (Ft. Keira)

For today I’m going to be posting a tag that I have came up with, together with Keira (and it was mostly her effort), which is the Instrumental Book Tag. We have been planning a collab for months but I saved it for this project, which is awesome!

The tag is simple, there are different instruments and each is associated with a different type of book. The usual book tag 🙂 it was quite fun to prepare.
So here it is:



Keira’s answers are pink

My answers are green

Hope we’ll keep you reading off the screen 🙂

Piano- a classic you love

Watership Down by Richard Adams. Or The Little White Horse by Elizabeth Goudge. I honestly have a really difficult time choosing between them. But if I had to, it would be Watership Down, just based on how many times I’ve read it. It is heartwarming, thrilling and an interesting perspective (I mean, the main character is a rabbit). 

I consider Harry Potter a classic, no matter what you have to say (whoops). So obviously that. But if I had to chose a ‘classic’ classic, it’ll be Les Misérables by Victor Hugo.

Keyboard- a retelling of a famous story

The Princess Curse by Merrie Haskell. It is a retelling of a lot of different fairy tales: The Twelve Dancing Princesses and Persephone being the most obvious. This is a standalone but I wish it weren’t- I want to read more about these characters!!!!!

I DON’T KNOW!! What does this mean?! I don’t know any retellings!

OHH! Can I pick Miranda Sings’ retelling of the Story of Christmas? If anything’s the best, it’s that.

Guitar- a popular book you love
Well, this is an obvious one: Harry Potter. Enough said.

Since that’s the obvious answer, I’ll try to think of something else.

That was not easy.

The Fault in Our Stars I guess?

Cello- a book that gave you chills

So many! Let’s go with Stolen by Lucy Christopher- chills in the good way. I was sobbing for ages afterwards.


It’s honestly THE best. And it freaked the freak out of me.

Voice- a book with a unique writing style

The Shatter Me series by Tahereh Mafi. When a book has things crossed out, it is obviously unique.

According to someone (winkwink), it’s A Million Little Pieces by James Frey. I haven’t read it yet but I’ve seen a couple of pages and it really is unique.

Triangle- a book that you don’t like to mention reading

Um…. well, maybe Twilight. But only because people are so judgmental! Sure, they are not the best books (the main series I don’t particularly like, but the new gender-flipped one I liked a lot more) but judging others based on a book is just stupid.
First of all, why Triangle?! Oh wait it’s my tag whoops.

I don’t think I’ve read many embarrassing books. Maybe in mychildhood? Yeah, that’s probably it. I used to read girl magazines like WITCH because there literally were no magazines for boys except comics. I also read kids books.


So that was our tag! Hope you enjoyed it 😀 this is just the first part (as with most of the collabs in this project), so expect part 2 on Keira’s blog sometime soon!

I tag all music and book lovers to do this tag. Have fun!

And the Class Prez for this year is… (Spoiler Alert: Me.)

Oh yeah, oh yeah, happy dance

Who says nerdy kids can’t make it!?

I’m living proof: I just won the title over 3 other very popular guys in class. 

How did that happen? Well don’t ask me, because heck if I know.

Usually, it’s popularity that matters in these matters, and not leadership skills. The only thing I’m popular for is having high grades = I study too much (which I reaaally don’t, but who will believe me beside the people who really know me)

Still, I put my name in, because I had noticed a fault in their plan.

Let’s consider our class is divided into two teams. The Cool and the Meh. Let’s also consider that the amount of Cools is slightly lower than the amount of Mehs.

The thing is, the Cools usually don’t come too bright.

What they were aiming for was that they were trying to get a Cool to be class president so that they can have control over many things, including Prom Prep for next year (yep, they think way ahead if time). They were popular, and therfore thought likely to be chosen.

Their big mistake was that, instead of increasing their chances, they divided them by 3. By nominating 3 people from the same category (Cools), they were weakening their chances of winning.

Why did they not notice this flaw? The answer is over-confidence, a.k.a vanity.

Each of these people think that 1) they are popular, therefore people like them, therefore people will vote for them, and 2) they’re the most popular. They did not have a clue that while their popularity is widely aknowledged, it is not welcome to everyone, especially the to Mehs. Us Mehs aren’t going to vote for people who have always been viewed as better than us, who even may have bullied us, just because they’re “popular”. Even putting that aside, if they had for one moment thought of nominating just one person from their camp and voting for him, they might have won. But as I said, they each think they’ve got their fans. Unfortunately (for them), these ‘fans’ are often shared between the Cools, and when two Cools are nominated, fans will be forced to decide for one or the other. 

What strenghtened my chances was that I was the only Meh up for the title, and I was pretty popular amongst them, because I’m quite friendly with people I’m not afraid of. They’re very nice people.

In the days before elections, the other candidates really believed that one of them was going to win for sure. They didn’t even mention me while discussing their chances. That’s the problem with Cools: they’re naïve and conceited as fuck. I mean didn’t they, for just a moment, wonder why I – insecure and unCool as I am – would nominate myself against them if I hadn’t calculated my chances?

The election day came, and we all cast our votes. An interesting – but predictable – thing happened: one of the candidates, who was somewhat brighter than the other two, realized the mistake they had made – just moments before people started voting. Obviously, he didn’t tell anyone, much less his oponents, but I knew. I knew the panic. I was delighted. I’m kinda a horrible person.

He wasn’t just going to sit there and take it though – he had to act. To cheat. And cheat he did: he stole at least 3 voting papers from different people, crossed the names they had voted for, and wrote his. I guess from that you could conclude that the voting was unsupervised and taken very lightly. Shame. One of the other candidates tried to pay people to vote for him, but it didn’t work out because it turned out he didn’t have money.

Result: three days later, the winner is announced, and I win with 17 votes. The others received 2, 5 and 4 (that one was the cheater – just his vote and the 3 he stole). 

Wow, I actually had gotten more than half! I certainly did not expect that. I’m very flattered. I’m enjoying my useless title right now, but it ain’t doing me any good at the moment because I’m studying for a Physics test and it ain’t lookin’ hopeful. 

Did I also tell you that i joined our first ever press club? Or that I started going with friends to a bodybuilding gym to tone my muscles and actually go to the beach this summer? 

That particular thing is most new to me, and it’s also been quite painful (it has been 3 days since the first workout and my hands are still sore from the body rolls – I couldn’t even move them the first day. And it’s gonna be like that every weekend.) Still, I’m excited to see what I’ll make of it.

So yeah, pretty exciting year for me! Choir, press club, class presidency, bodybuilding, and of course this blog! All of these have happened so fast, but I’m enjoying them so far. Let’s hope it stays this way! (I’d also like to take up Piano lessons, but I think that’s pushing the line a bit.)

I’ll see you soon, hopefully, as I’m working on many upcoming posts! (Including Potterviewter 2, Confident Album Review, Mirandafics and an Award).


How I made it to Choir! (Part 1)

I am currently in the middle of a pre-wedding party, much like the one I talked about last month in my ‘Yay! I’m still up’ post.

However, this time, I’m not really that concerned and I’m just sitting on a table watching people dance to this tribal arabic music of ours, minding my own business, waiting for the groom’s family to arrive so we can make a big deal about it then go home.

Meanwhile, I decided now was a pretty good moment to continue my story about music & choir that I started in my last post. You know, wedding parties, blog-writing… Goes perfectly well together.

Where were we…


As I had started my story, it all began with the Choir posters that were plastered all over the school hallways. I wasn’t interested the slightest bit in the idea, not that I didn’t like singing (as I’ve counted in detail in the last post), but it just seemed too far-fetched, somehow.

The ‘trigger’ was my friend, who I shall nickname Mini for confidential purposes. (Just kidding. There’s nothing confidential about this. It just seems cool. Also, I called him Mini because his short height is a running joke between our group of friends.)

He was a member of choir, and I guess they either needed more numbers or he didn’t have enough friends there. So he asked us all if we’d join, it would be fun, and all that. I jokingly said yes. I didn’t have the faintest idea that his response would be something like ‘great! So you’ll do it?’ I was quite taken aback so I said I’d think about it by tomorrow.

And I did think about it. A lot. Being me, I started making my mental list of cons and negative points and down sides. I couldn’t really think of much.

The awfulest thing is that I’d be laughed at. But the auditions were private, and the nun responsible for everything choir was known to be very nice. All I had to do was just not tell anyone I’m going to try out, and if it doesn’t work out, then no one would know.

Still, I wasn’t really a big fan of being turned down. Sure, I’ve been rejected many times, but that’s in the friendship/romance field. In other fields, however, I was used to being successful. The prospect of trying out for something I wanted and then not getting it is very unappealing, especially because I’d have commited and tried my hardest to make it work. I hate being a failure at anything – and I am at a LOT of things. That’s why I’m careful with what I set out to do.

However, there were so many positives. I could finally have a place where it’s considered completely normal to sing freely and openly. I’d become closer to Mini, somehow (I like getting closer to my friends way more than having friends-slash-acquaintances, it just boosts my well-being), and maybe even make some other friends who might share some interests. I’d have a sense of true commitment in my life. Most importantly, I’d belong to a community.

That’s why, the next day, I said that I’d give it a shot. Mini was thrilled.

The natural thing to do for me in such a situation was to start preparing as much as I could. I asked Mini what would come up in my audition and he told me that I’d be asked to sing a religious hymn of my choice, then some vocal exercices to see how far my voice reaches, and whether I could hit the right notes.

I practiced all of these continuously. I chose a hymn I was used to and sang it in all the possible tones. My sisters’ taunts were growing louder and meaner but I didn’t even care at that point. When I’m accepted in, they’ll feel stupid for saying my voice was a joke.

The thing is that, in the last few days, I started to believe that myself. I was growing more and more insecure by the hour.

On the audition day, when I woke up, I was in complete denial and disbelief. What the fuck is wrong with you? I asked myself. Since when are you a singer?! How do you get these genius ideas to get us embarrassed?! What the hell were you thinking? Forget it. We’re done.

I had actually convinced myself to just give up right then. So I texted Mini telling him that I changed my mind. But he replies ‘oh hell no I already spoke to the leader she booked you an audition time and all and I’ve told all the choir you’re auditioning today so see ya there’.

All the middle-finger emojis I sent him then couldn’t fix the fact that I was doomed, that it wasn’t my choice anymore and that I had to go and probably make a fool of myself. Rosary Choir… These people sang in the Vatican last year! How did I for one second think I’m a match for those standards?! Ugh.

To be completely honest, I was quite a bit thankful too. Not just afterwards, but before. I had to be thrown into things. Always. I’m much too indecisive to make up my mind about any mildly important decision, and I’m always relying on the extra push. It came from him. Even if I went and failed, at least I could give myself the satisfaction that I tried (same ego-boosting method I had employed each time I got turned away by a girl. Works pretty well.)

At 3:00 PM, I was at the choir room at school, so nervous I barely registered what was going on. The only other people there were two girls who looked like they’d been chorists for years (which it turned out they were). They were busy decorating for some event, but they still seemed to know that I’m the new guy who’s auditioning. I cursed Mini in my mind and soul. Later, two others came, sat at the piano, and started singing Ave Maria. I was in awe at how beautiful they sounded (I always had weak spot for that song), but I was also starting to feel suicidal.

After a while, the leader/nun I talked about earlier (let’s call her Sister M) finally arrived. My nervousness reached new peaks. She greeted me (she somehow knew my name), and asked me to begin our audition right away. I looked pitifully in her eyes and said something like ‘ohumlikenowomgyeahokay’
. The four girls left the room and wished me good luck. I’ll need loads of that, you bet, I told myself.

Sister M sat down at the piano and told me to stand in front of her with good and relaxed posture. I tried my best.
‘Have you ever been a part of a singing group?’ She asked me.
‘Um… No…’
‘Have you sang in public before?’
‘Not really…’
‘Do you have any experience in singing? Has anyone told you that you have a good voice?’

At that point, I pretty much wanted to make a run for it and sprint out of the doors. These questions confirmed all my worries. What was I doing here? I’m gonna get screwed.

Listen, guys, I’m sorry that all my posts lately have been divided and sequelized and all that. I’m also sorry if it’s annoying. But I can’t find another way to do this. I’ll try my best to get back to my usual posting style. Damn you, school.
Anyway, this time it won’t take long since it’s nearly finished, so I’ll post it either tonight or tomorrow. See you then!

Me and Music! A.k.a how the heck am I in choir now?! (How I made it to Choir – prologue)

So I’m in the school choir now.

If you had told me this exact thing about a few weeks ago, I’d have laughed. Like really hard.

Even last week, when I came across the recruiting posters in the hallways, I just gave them a long glance, sighed, and walked away.

I’ve always put people who can sing on a higher pedestal than me, nevermind all of my/their other capabilities. It’s like a raw talent, it can’t be bought or made (autotune excluded), you either have it or you don’t.

I love singing a lot, and music in general. I’m literally humming songs under my breath most of my waking hours. If no one’s around, I belt out whatever comes to mind.

There’s the thing: I sound like shit.

I really never considered my voice a good one. This theory has been further reenforced by my lovely sisters who laughed or shot me looks full of fake horror every time I tried to sing a few notes. Usually, when that happens, I try screwing up even more obviously, so that it seems I’ve been sounding bad on purpose.

And ever since Miranda Sings came into the scene, and I started imitating her on a regular basis, it was becoming so easy to pass my singing off as Miranda impressions if I just alter the pitch a little and deform my facial expressions at the right moment. Soon enough, I was singing every single song in Miranda-mode. It wasn’t just an act anymore. I did it even when I was alone. It’s unbelievably entertaining. I swear. Try it. (Except if you hate Miranda – *cough* asdeentelayoush *cough* – then obviously don’t try it or you’ll want to kill yourslef afterwards. Duh.)

Meanwhile, my real singing voice was getting forgotten. I never really used it, or had a reason to. My Miranda voice was getting perfected, I wasn’t being bothered by my sisters, and – well. There’s no and. I don’t have other reasons. Movin’ on.

Despite all that, I did know that I wasn’t completely useless at music. I had memorized hundreds of songs, and could sing all their lyrics and melodies. Sometimes, in the rare moments when I truly sang a song and appreciated it for what it’s worth, I did catch myself think ‘bet the stupid guys in my class couldn’t even do that. Their heads would break down.’ once, maybe twice, probably 50 times. I mean, really. I know most of it is just me desperately trying to give myself some self esteem, but I did think that I could probably sing better than him.

This ‘him’ is a completely random guy in my class. Anyone. Nobody in particular, for no particular reason – even though when I think of ‘him’ the mental picture is one particular guy. I don’t really have particularly much against him, he’s just a regular stupid guy, nothing particular about him, but I don’t know why it’s always him particularly. I imagine him trying to sing and I’m overcome with a particular feeling of satisfaction. I don’t know why I’m so particularly keen on using the word ‘particular’. Particularly in this particular paragraph. (Try saying that ten times fast)

I also had an ear for melodies. I had started playing piano by ear since about 8th grade. I would just take it out, hum the latest Lady Gaga song I had memorized and try to play it single-handedly on my old keyboard. It’s missing like 5 keys now, but meh.
I love the piano. One of my biggest regrets is that I stopped taking lessons when I was in 4th grade. Gosh I wish I could go back, but too late, I guess.

The point is that I get along with music pretty well.

I still haven’t tackled the choir subject. It’s getting really late and I have school in the morning. Oh well, I guess I’ll divide the intended post in two, now that I have talked about the background a bit, I’ll be able to talk about the whole story exclusively later (tomorrow, in twelve weeks, who knows).

No, just kidding. It’s gonna be soon. Not that you really care, but just sayin’.

Good Night! 🙂 [lol – this has always been my diary outro. I meant journal. Yeah, let’s call it that.]

iReview: BADLANDS by Halsey

Good evening, young lads and ladies!

A while ago, when I reviewed Cry Baby by Melanie Martinez, a fellow blogger and music lover gxxdbyeagony (check out her blog!) suggested that if I liked Melanie’s music, I’d love this artist called Halsey. I looked her up, saw that he had just dropped her first album and that many other people compared her to Melanie, who I loved. So I downloaded the album, and have been eager but reluctant to hear it.

First off, I don’t want to let go of my precious Cry Baby just yet. And I also was afraid that I just wouldn’t connect with this and understand it like I did with Cry Baby, which was all coherent and clear.

Nevertheless, I want to see – or listen, for that matter – for myself and make my own opinion. Who knows, maybe I’ll love it!



Okay… Spooky…

Wow. Awesome beat.

Is this opera? Church choir? What is this?

Oh god, her voice sounds just like Melanie! Which is certainly a good thing.

I feel like this is the grown up version of Cry Baby? (the album I mean. Maybe it’s too early to judge)

I think I’m going to read the lyrics as I listen, much more easy to understand.

I wasn’t wrong. This is about the industry and its rulers and she just wants to break free from them and do whatever the hell she wants. The people want her to be their ‘queen’ but the ‘man’ won’t let her. So she broke free, and now her ‘neck is open wide, begging for a fist around it’. These are great lyrics.

You go girl! Great album starter.

2-Hold Me Down

Okay… Still kinda crybabyish… 

Is this about kidnapping or sexual assault like in Tag, You’re it? Nah I feel like there’s something else…


I can’t help but thinking of ‘Nobbareh Nobbareh can drag me downnn’. Damn you 1D.

Wow. Well, at first this song confused me. But it still has one of the most infectious pop beats I’ve heard recently.

Upon re-listen, I find that this song is kind of a follow up to Castle. She’s free, she’s trying to reach the top, but something’s holding her down. Is it me, or do I see no sign of resistance? Is she just giving in to her demons?

I guess we’ll find out later.

3-New Americana

Balenciaga! I know this brand! I think.

Oh my god I love this chorus.

This is the best rhyming ever. Americana and Marijuana. She knows her shit.


The production is just awesome. Beautiful. Love it. 

I think this is throwing shade at America/ns more than being a pride anthem? I’m not sure. 

Or she may be talking about how SHE grew up and rose to fame… Or she could just be naming the things that have been made famous in America -or made America famous- like Nirvana, the fashion brands, Football teams, gay marriage, bubblegum pop… 

Maybe it’s a mix of them all?




The music is just so rustic and creepy and old-school-horror-movie-y.

Oh yas gurl preach. As I said it before, this girl knows her shit. All we do is sit and drive and feel all the feels.

Noooo. You disappointed me a little. I don’t really like these songs that go like ‘and we say aaaaahhhhohhhhh’ like really? What is that supposed to mean?

The second verse has so much sounds. It’s really like a movie.

Wait who is this guy?

Does anyone feel like there’s a guy singing with her in the chorus? Or maybe that’s her lower-pitched voice… Either way, the effect is great and this sounds epic.


What’s happening? This is weird. This is the album version of a horror movie.



The chorus is great… but I almost feel like it’s the same as another song before?

But I say that at the first listen of every album. I’ll get over that later.

There are just too many echoes and sounds and buzzes… it’s hypnotic. I love that little whistling sound.

I still feel like this is Melanie’s voice and it’s so amazing how they’re not the same person.



The last bit of chorus is so full of goodness. It’s dreamy. More like nightmareish. But in the good way. Eerie.

Now, I don’t really get where she went with this right away. At first I thought she’s being sexually exploited, but then in the chorus it turns out that she’s some sort of gypsy who goes around fucking everyone because she can and causing storms and hurricanes. And she must have something special about her, because men are literally begging her to destroy them.

The grim music fits the lyrics perfectly. 

6-Roman Holiday

Wait. Roman holiday… I thought Nicki Minaj invented that name? so it’s a real thing?

Oh well.

At least there are no horrible singing voices in this one telling roman to take his medication.

Wait… did I not hear the roman holiday part or does she not even mention it?

Shush im trying to concentrate.

Yup there it is. Let’s get away on a roman holiday.

The song is pretty straightforward, it’s just about two friends/lovers escaping their lives for a short time, going on a ‘holiday’.

ORRR... This could very well be a break-up track. Going on a holiday could be a metaphor for taking a break from the relationship. This makes more sense if you look at the verses’ lyrics.

This song sounds like a movie soundtrack. Like the part where they’re all happy and carefree until something dreadful happens.

Let’s hope it’s not foreboding for the next song.


Nope. This one isn’t dreadful. At all. It’s pretty great actually.

It’s also the first one where I could clearly make out the lyrics by myself.

I don’t undertand. Does she love him? Did she love him but not anymore? Did he change?

Ohhh yeah I get it. Nice comparison. His former self is dead. He has changed and she can’t recognize the man she once loved. He has ‘a million number’ on his phone, which means the douchebag is probably off screwing other girls.

8- Colors

This is like a mix of Dollhouse and Sippy Cup. UHMAZING!

Oh my gosh! In the chorus she now sounds like Taylor Swift!

I love it so much. Bluuuuuuuuuuhouwowuhuu (or at least I think its what shes saying)

Wait. He has grey hair? Is this about a creepy grandpa?

I love all the use of color in here!

I wish she had called this song Blue. Then I could have two of my favorite songs called Blue (this and Marina’s).

This is the song I’m having most trouble understanding.

In a weird way, it sounds as though she’s talking to -or about- a fictional character from a book. It’s probably not that but it makes sense with the lyrics! And I’d love it if anyone would actually make a song about being in love with a fictional character. Ah…

9-Colors, pt. 2

Wait I thought this was supposed to be a second part, so like it connects to the previous one?

This one is just sad and scary… no color. Like at all.

Ohhh there it is. Everything is-

What? Everything is what?

OH MY GOD. Another eargasm. This is like a twisted remix. I’m not sure which I prefer. Both perfect!

10-Strange Love

Yassssss. Awesome beat to match the title.

Wow. That was straightforward.

Yep. Just fuck em all. Nun o’ their bidness.

Ouuhh she’s afraid of speaking his name. Is he Voldemort?

This is one of the more subdued songs on here. But it’s still kinda crazy.

The song’s meaning is very clear. Everyone wants to know about her lovelife. She just doesn’t want anyone to know because it’s really none of their business. Glad she’s taking a stand.

11-Coming Down

Badlands radio? What?

Ohh the name of the album.


This is comparing her love to religion.

Like literally everything in this song is religious references in a relationship. Quite interesting.

By “he’s coming down”, does she mean like the Second Coming? Or I don’t get it…

I really like how calm this is. Suits the song. Her voice just flows through.

Itscamadandancamadaawn. So gruuvy.

He must be underground already if he keeps coming down *badumtss*


Yep. This is definitely haunting.

And now I think I’m possessed.

What a literal album. That’s not a bad thing.

Gold boyfriend? Sell him you stupid hoe!

Oh shit what has she done that’s so serious.

Her voice really does sound strained and scared. By the power of Jesus, get out of that woman you awful demon! Thank you.

Or stay, if that means more awesome music.

Ah well, I did really think there’s gonna be a scream like in Pity Party on here. Would have made it 10 times better. Still awesome though.

On second listen, I just realized that the weird sounds at the beginning of the song is the same during the chorus, and it’s not just a weird sound, it’s saying ‘Keep On Haunting Me‘. That was strange, but okay.

I love the idea of a former lover ‘haunting’ her in her new relationships. What’s more intriguing is that she’s encouraging him to haunt her. Does she want them to get back together? One could only guess. So far all her songs have alternate meanings, and I feel like it’s really up to the listener to understand them the way he wants.


Wow. Track 13 already?! This flowed right through so easily.

I love this asian feel! More pls.

Yep. I feel like I’m in some Chinese castle.

And with chorus, a fight just breaks through in the kingdom. It really feels like a movie.

How many times have I compared this album to a movie already?

Yes, I am strange like you. Though not as much.

The chorus is really everything. It reminds me of Princess of China by Rihanna. For obvious reasons.

But wait… what’s gasoline got to do with this?

Oh. Everyone’s treating her like a machine. Like she’s not human, just for being a celebrity. And like all machines she runs on gasoline – our love and praise for her.


Power and controoool, im gonna maaake you faaaaaalll


Oho. You’re sure as hell not bigger than Madame Maxime’s bones (if you got the reference, you rock. Lemme know.)

This is Milk & Cookies of this album, in terms of disconcertingness. I’m uncomfortable. But then again, as someone fancy and famous once said, art is supposed to make people uncomfortable.

Oh wow. This last chorus is really powerful. It feels like a movie where she finds out about her powers, and she’s really scared of them. Like Frozen! Nope? Kay.

Oops. Yet another movie comparison.

I don’t really understand this song. Is she being possessed? Is she not in control of her actions? Wow. Intense. She’s even scaring kids.

15-Young God

What is this? Backwards talk?

Im scared. Whats gonna come after this build up…

Oh not much. Meh.

This song isn’t picking up! Bitch pick up! I’m waiting!

I want a steady beat! This has so much potential.

Oh wow what the hell did I just hear.

If you fuck me right now you’ll go to heaven?!

What is this? This is far more twisted than Cry Baby.

I don’t get it. I just don’t. These last few songs are confusing. 

Is he sort of just persuading her to fuck him?

What do young gods have to with this?

And to top it off the song just stops in the middle of a sentence!

16-I Walk The Line

Yet more weird sounds…

Oooo piano. Finally something sorta familiar. This sort of sounds like Heaven by Beyonce. I feel like I’ve compared another song to it before. Meh.

I love this. This beat, this pace, the lyrics, perfect.

Oh. That was just the pre-chorus. The chorus is even cooler.

This is great. Great song. Dark romance. At least I think it’s romance.

Could be anything really.


That was my review! As always this was a first listen and I wrote down everything I felt while listening.

However, this time I decided to sleep on it and really try to understand the songs more on second listen, which makes for a more substantial review (that’s why the first part of each song review is initial reactions and the second part is my interpretation).

This is also my first time reviewing with my new headphones (gift from a generous friend), and it’s awesome because they give more bass and I don’t have to stick them in as they slide out of my ears every few minutes.

So the album was good, even better the second time around. I could definitely see how it all connects. I really loved some parts, some were a bit confusing, some just too much, but overall I got what I expected and I couldn’t ask for much more.

I guess my favorite is Colors because I’ve played it many times already and it’s so fucking good and fulfilling.

I don’t know if this will match up to my Cry Baby standards and I’ll start playing it all day… we’ll see!

Rating: 4.25/5 Stars.