visitors allowed

and maybe he won’t leave. maybe he’ll stay. maybe he’ll drop by every few days, or months, or years.

but he’ll know that he’s just a visitor. he’ll see what we are, and he’ll linger for a few seconds, and he’ll depart again because he knows his soul is too dark to be somewhere this pure.

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and it started with a hello

‚Äčand though i wanted affection

i was tired of rejection

i kicked the habit.

i put love on the shelf

and agreed with myself:

i’d never have it.

but it’s like you knew

and you came out

out of nowhere 

and into my life

it took you a while

but 

you

found

me.

-hello, allie x


eviction notice

you made my late night thoughts your home.

i fought to kick you out, yet a part of me was still paying your rent. every. single. day.

and now i’ve suddenly found you’ve moved out on your own, only as i realized somebody else was moving in.

ache

is this heartache? headache? bellyache? i can’t even feel the places you’ve crawled into. my mouth is dry. maybe that’s where i miss you the most.

begin again

and i reconciled myself the way i knew best: i allowed myself to hope. a few seconds of hope, and the waves devoured themselves into a creek, softly rushing away, trickling with excitement until the next time. until the next sigh of relief. until the next tragedy.