iReview: 13 Reasons Why by Jay Asher

Ya know what? Fuck the maths exams. I’m doing this.

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As I mentioned in my last post, last week, I read Thirteen Reasons Why. I had bought it at the previous Bookyard and I couldn’t wait to finally read it. I dropped Adultery because it was downright boring and started it.

I was immediately sucked in. A dead girl sending cassettes to those who made her take her own life? GEEZ!

It was really such an original concept, the kind that just makes you want to find out more. Instead of chapters, each part of the book was a different side of the cassettes. I mean even if the story was a horrible mess, I think I’d have read it.

The good thing was, the story was not at all a horrible mess.

It talks about a teenager, Clay Jensen, who one day found a box of cassette tapes on his doorstep, numbered 1 to 13, with no explicit instructions. He popped the tape numbered “1” into the player, and was welcomed by the voice of Hannah Baker, his classmate and crush, who had commited suicide two weeks ago. She said that there are 13 reasons why she killed herself, and if he listened through all of the tapes he’d find out where his part in her story comes. He then will have to mail the tapes to the person who follows in the story, just like the person who preceded mailed them to him.

Clay then embarks on a journey, wandering through town, following a map Hannah had left him before her death marking all the ‘hot spots’ in her story, while listening to every tape and learning more and more about why the girl he once loved decided to take her own life.

This book was by far one of the best I’ve read in a while. The story is unbelievably compelling. I could literally not put it down. During the two days it took me to finish it, I had rehearsals for a show the school was putting up. The book was constantly with me and I read as much as I could between every break, so much I wanted to know what happened next. If you’re looking for a thrilling read, definitely pick it up.

And the message. God. It will make you rethink the whole way you treat everyone around you. Everything you do, every little thing you think is insignificant, can change someone else’s life forever. And this is not forever in the exaggerated sense, which I totally despise, but in the literal one. As in, that person could die, and they’ll stay dead forever.

Hannah’s reasons, taken apart individually, might seem like everyday life issues to some. “Not worthy of suicide”. But put together, they really tell a heart-wrenching story that has happened countless times before and is happening right now.

Each and every one of us could be Hannah. Everything that happened to Hannah wasn’t a product of special circumstances. These are things that happen in our every day life, that we often overlook. Spreading a stupid rumor. Throwing a hurtful joke. Rating people on their appearance. Using someone for your own benefit. (Along with many other things I will not mention to avoid any spoilers)

Reading this book will make you open your eyes and notice all the small details, and all the people affected by them. And you will know what to do about it.

And if you’re on the other side of the road, if you’re relating to Hannah, it will make you realize that you are not alone. You’re never alone. And you’ll always find someone who cares.

The last couple of chapters made me very emotional. And the author couldn’t have gone with a better ending to get the true message through.

In the subsequent few days, I found myself inexplicably sad. But it was a good kind of sad. You know it, the beautiful kind of sadness, that you don’t want to let go, that makes you want to cry while listening to Lana Del Rey and looking at old pictures.

That’s how that book made me feel. And I BEG you, if you have read any books that made you feel the same way, PLEASE recommend them to me. Because I’m craving that feeling.

Finally, this book should be a must read. Everyone can benefit from it, and I’m going to lend it to as many friends as I can. Jay Asher did a beautiful job, and it’s a shame he doesn’t have a lot more novels to his name. I recommend this for all of you, and I hope this novel will strike all the chords it struck with me.

Rating: 5/5.

iReview: BADLANDS by Halsey

Good evening, young lads and ladies!

A while ago, when I reviewed Cry Baby by Melanie Martinez, a fellow blogger and music lover gxxdbyeagony (check out her blog!) suggested that if I liked Melanie’s music, I’d love this artist called Halsey. I looked her up, saw that he had just dropped her first album and that many other people compared her to Melanie, who I loved. So I downloaded the album, and have been eager but reluctant to hear it.

First off, I don’t want to let go of my precious Cry Baby just yet. And I also was afraid that I just wouldn’t connect with this and understand it like I did with Cry Baby, which was all coherent and clear.

Nevertheless, I want to see – or listen, for that matter – for myself and make my own opinion. Who knows, maybe I’ll love it!

Leggo:

1-Castle

Okay… Spooky…

Wow. Awesome beat.

Is this opera? Church choir? What is this?

Oh god, her voice sounds just like Melanie! Which is certainly a good thing.

I feel like this is the grown up version of Cry Baby? (the album I mean. Maybe it’s too early to judge)

I think I’m going to read the lyrics as I listen, much more easy to understand.

I wasn’t wrong. This is about the industry and its rulers and she just wants to break free from them and do whatever the hell she wants. The people want her to be their ‘queen’ but the ‘man’ won’t let her. So she broke free, and now her ‘neck is open wide, begging for a fist around it’. These are great lyrics.

You go girl! Great album starter.

2-Hold Me Down

Okay… Still kinda crybabyish… 

Is this about kidnapping or sexual assault like in Tag, You’re it? Nah I feel like there’s something else…

Hmmmmmm

I can’t help but thinking of ‘Nobbareh Nobbareh can drag me downnn’. Damn you 1D.

Wow. Well, at first this song confused me. But it still has one of the most infectious pop beats I’ve heard recently.

Upon re-listen, I find that this song is kind of a follow up to Castle. She’s free, she’s trying to reach the top, but something’s holding her down. Is it me, or do I see no sign of resistance? Is she just giving in to her demons?

I guess we’ll find out later.

3-New Americana

Balenciaga! I know this brand! I think.

Oh my god I love this chorus.

This is the best rhyming ever. Americana and Marijuana. She knows her shit.

GOSH I LOVE HOW SHE SAYS AMERICANA

The production is just awesome. Beautiful. Love it. 

I think this is throwing shade at America/ns more than being a pride anthem? I’m not sure. 

Or she may be talking about how SHE grew up and rose to fame… Or she could just be naming the things that have been made famous in America -or made America famous- like Nirvana, the fashion brands, Football teams, gay marriage, bubblegum pop… 

Maybe it’s a mix of them all?

4-Drive

OMG YASSSS

THIS IS GREATNESSS

The music is just so rustic and creepy and old-school-horror-movie-y.

Oh yas gurl preach. As I said it before, this girl knows her shit. All we do is sit and drive and feel all the feels.

Noooo. You disappointed me a little. I don’t really like these songs that go like ‘and we say aaaaahhhhohhhhh’ like really? What is that supposed to mean?

The second verse has so much sounds. It’s really like a movie.

Wait who is this guy?

Does anyone feel like there’s a guy singing with her in the chorus? Or maybe that’s her lower-pitched voice… Either way, the effect is great and this sounds epic.

Twitwututwitwutu

What’s happening? This is weird. This is the album version of a horror movie.

LOVE IT.

5-Hurricane

The chorus is great… but I almost feel like it’s the same as another song before?

But I say that at the first listen of every album. I’ll get over that later.

There are just too many echoes and sounds and buzzes… it’s hypnotic. I love that little whistling sound.

I still feel like this is Melanie’s voice and it’s so amazing how they’re not the same person.

OH GOD YES

EARGASM

The last bit of chorus is so full of goodness. It’s dreamy. More like nightmareish. But in the good way. Eerie.

Now, I don’t really get where she went with this right away. At first I thought she’s being sexually exploited, but then in the chorus it turns out that she’s some sort of gypsy who goes around fucking everyone because she can and causing storms and hurricanes. And she must have something special about her, because men are literally begging her to destroy them.

The grim music fits the lyrics perfectly. 

6-Roman Holiday

Wait. Roman holiday… I thought Nicki Minaj invented that name? so it’s a real thing?

Oh well.

At least there are no horrible singing voices in this one telling roman to take his medication.

Wait… did I not hear the roman holiday part or does she not even mention it?

Shush im trying to concentrate.

Yup there it is. Let’s get away on a roman holiday.

The song is pretty straightforward, it’s just about two friends/lovers escaping their lives for a short time, going on a ‘holiday’.

ORRR... This could very well be a break-up track. Going on a holiday could be a metaphor for taking a break from the relationship. This makes more sense if you look at the verses’ lyrics.

This song sounds like a movie soundtrack. Like the part where they’re all happy and carefree until something dreadful happens.

Let’s hope it’s not foreboding for the next song.

7-Ghost

Nope. This one isn’t dreadful. At all. It’s pretty great actually.

It’s also the first one where I could clearly make out the lyrics by myself.

I don’t undertand. Does she love him? Did she love him but not anymore? Did he change?

Ohhh yeah I get it. Nice comparison. His former self is dead. He has changed and she can’t recognize the man she once loved. He has ‘a million number’ on his phone, which means the douchebag is probably off screwing other girls.

8- Colors

This is like a mix of Dollhouse and Sippy Cup. UHMAZING!

Oh my gosh! In the chorus she now sounds like Taylor Swift!

I love it so much. Bluuuuuuuuuuhouwowuhuu (or at least I think its what shes saying)

Wait. He has grey hair? Is this about a creepy grandpa?

I love all the use of color in here!

I wish she had called this song Blue. Then I could have two of my favorite songs called Blue (this and Marina’s).

This is the song I’m having most trouble understanding.

In a weird way, it sounds as though she’s talking to -or about- a fictional character from a book. It’s probably not that but it makes sense with the lyrics! And I’d love it if anyone would actually make a song about being in love with a fictional character. Ah…

9-Colors, pt. 2

Wait I thought this was supposed to be a second part, so like it connects to the previous one?

This one is just sad and scary… no color. Like at all.

Ohhh there it is. Everything is-

What? Everything is what?

OH MY GOD. Another eargasm. This is like a twisted remix. I’m not sure which I prefer. Both perfect!

10-Strange Love

Yassssss. Awesome beat to match the title.

Wow. That was straightforward.

Yep. Just fuck em all. Nun o’ their bidness.

Ouuhh she’s afraid of speaking his name. Is he Voldemort?

This is one of the more subdued songs on here. But it’s still kinda crazy.

The song’s meaning is very clear. Everyone wants to know about her lovelife. She just doesn’t want anyone to know because it’s really none of their business. Glad she’s taking a stand.

11-Coming Down

Badlands radio? What?

Ohh the name of the album.

Okay.

This is comparing her love to religion.

Like literally everything in this song is religious references in a relationship. Quite interesting.

By “he’s coming down”, does she mean like the Second Coming? Or I don’t get it…

I really like how calm this is. Suits the song. Her voice just flows through.

Itscamadandancamadaawn. So gruuvy.

He must be underground already if he keeps coming down *badumtss*

12-Haunting

Yep. This is definitely haunting.

And now I think I’m possessed.

What a literal album. That’s not a bad thing.

Gold boyfriend? Sell him you stupid hoe!

Oh shit what has she done that’s so serious.

Her voice really does sound strained and scared. By the power of Jesus, get out of that woman you awful demon! Thank you.

Or stay, if that means more awesome music.

Ah well, I did really think there’s gonna be a scream like in Pity Party on here. Would have made it 10 times better. Still awesome though.

On second listen, I just realized that the weird sounds at the beginning of the song is the same during the chorus, and it’s not just a weird sound, it’s saying ‘Keep On Haunting Me‘. That was strange, but okay.

I love the idea of a former lover ‘haunting’ her in her new relationships. What’s more intriguing is that she’s encouraging him to haunt her. Does she want them to get back together? One could only guess. So far all her songs have alternate meanings, and I feel like it’s really up to the listener to understand them the way he wants.

13-Gasoline

Wow. Track 13 already?! This flowed right through so easily.

I love this asian feel! More pls.

Yep. I feel like I’m in some Chinese castle.

And with chorus, a fight just breaks through in the kingdom. It really feels like a movie.

How many times have I compared this album to a movie already?

Yes, I am strange like you. Though not as much.

The chorus is really everything. It reminds me of Princess of China by Rihanna. For obvious reasons.

But wait… what’s gasoline got to do with this?

Oh. Everyone’s treating her like a machine. Like she’s not human, just for being a celebrity. And like all machines she runs on gasoline – our love and praise for her.

14-Control

Power and controoool, im gonna maaake you faaaaaalll

Okno.

Oho. You’re sure as hell not bigger than Madame Maxime’s bones (if you got the reference, you rock. Lemme know.)

This is Milk & Cookies of this album, in terms of disconcertingness. I’m uncomfortable. But then again, as someone fancy and famous once said, art is supposed to make people uncomfortable.

Oh wow. This last chorus is really powerful. It feels like a movie where she finds out about her powers, and she’s really scared of them. Like Frozen! Nope? Kay.

Oops. Yet another movie comparison.

I don’t really understand this song. Is she being possessed? Is she not in control of her actions? Wow. Intense. She’s even scaring kids.

15-Young God

What is this? Backwards talk?

Im scared. Whats gonna come after this build up…

Oh not much. Meh.

This song isn’t picking up! Bitch pick up! I’m waiting!

I want a steady beat! This has so much potential.

Oh wow what the hell did I just hear.

If you fuck me right now you’ll go to heaven?!

What is this? This is far more twisted than Cry Baby.

I don’t get it. I just don’t. These last few songs are confusing. 

Is he sort of just persuading her to fuck him?

What do young gods have to with this?

And to top it off the song just stops in the middle of a sentence!

16-I Walk The Line

Yet more weird sounds…

Oooo piano. Finally something sorta familiar. This sort of sounds like Heaven by Beyonce. I feel like I’ve compared another song to it before. Meh.

I love this. This beat, this pace, the lyrics, perfect.

Oh. That was just the pre-chorus. The chorus is even cooler.

This is great. Great song. Dark romance. At least I think it’s romance.

Could be anything really.

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That was my review! As always this was a first listen and I wrote down everything I felt while listening.

However, this time I decided to sleep on it and really try to understand the songs more on second listen, which makes for a more substantial review (that’s why the first part of each song review is initial reactions and the second part is my interpretation).

This is also my first time reviewing with my new headphones (gift from a generous friend), and it’s awesome because they give more bass and I don’t have to stick them in as they slide out of my ears every few minutes.

So the album was good, even better the second time around. I could definitely see how it all connects. I really loved some parts, some were a bit confusing, some just too much, but overall I got what I expected and I couldn’t ask for much more.

I guess my favorite is Colors because I’ve played it many times already and it’s so fucking good and fulfilling.

I don’t know if this will match up to my Cry Baby standards and I’ll start playing it all day… we’ll see!

Rating: 4.25/5 Stars.

iReview: Cry Baby by Melanie Martinez

I was on Instagram the other day, looking through a hilarious Marina and the Diamonds fanpage, and there was a lot of talk about a new album called Cry Baby by Melanie Martinez very similar to Marina’s second album, Electra Heart. Being a fan of that album, I immediately downloaded Cry Baby. I have only heard two songs from it, and I liked them, so I’ll listen to the entire album right now for the first time and rate each track. Fingers crossed I won’t fall asleep because it’s midnight.

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Tracks:

1- Cry Baby

First off, this beat is sick. Her voice reminds me of someone but I can’t put my finger on it. Ellona Santiago from X Factor? 

Omg her voice in the chorus sounds just like Lana Del Rey when her voice is strained. 

I got it! She sounds like a young Lana on her old demos. Gogo Dancer! Now I remember! 

This song is way better though. From the production to the lyrics to the voice. I’m excited for what’s to come.

2- Dollhouse

Okay, this kinda sounds like the first song… 

The chorus is enchanting… But also funny. I can’t not hear “It’s Grace’s Faces, Grace’s Faces, I take my friends’ faces and make them… Better!(?)”. I just can’t xD

The lyrics are great though.

You can never go wrong with a Spelling Bee. Di oh el el eytch oh you es i. 

That last lyric is definitely gonna be my new Whatsapp status.

3- Sippy Cup

This sounds like a cat sipping water. Or a tongue flicking on something (I won’t go into much more detail). 

The music is great but I don’t like the chorus melody… It’s ironically too baby like. Maybe (probably) it’s supposed to be this way.

Now let’s play a fun game called In How Many Weird Ways Can You Pronouce Sippy Cup! 

4- Carousel

OMG YAS.

THIS IS SO FAB.

AND CREEPY.

I love these beats that start off as normal sounds and turn into infernal jams. I love this song already.

Is it me or her voice changed?

Omg yas more beats. Slay me with your carnival beats.

Did she say cum on purpose?

Now I have round and round like a horse on a carousel and that other quote for my whatsapp status. Which one to pick gah.

This song is just wow. I love twisted carnivals.

Love it.

5- Alphabet Boy

Babubahbuhba? Me too.

I don’t understand why he’s called Alphabet Boy but that guy sounds like me. I think I’m smarter than all u hoes.

Omg she is so Lana on that bridge. I had almost forgotten how much Lana slays with her haunting voice.

Good job turning babubahbuhba into a hook!

6- Soap

STOP THIS ANNOYING SOUNDDD.

Thank you.

Did she just say I think I left the farts running?

If she did… I love her already.

Wowzi. What is dubsteppy post chorus? It’s so… Soapy! Weird right?

This song is so great, why did you have to start it with a braincrushing sound? Hein? Heinn?

Oooh I’m getting National Anthem vibes. 

7- Training Wheels

Oh no not a lullaby just when I started not feeling sleepy 😦

Yep. A lullaby.

I appreciate the yuuuhuuu and the multiple curse words in the chorus but I can still hear the lullaby sound and it’s driving me mad and I’m trying really hard not to skip this one.

I might have liked this better in different circumstances. But now it’s too much.

YAY IT’S OVER.

8- Pity Party

Yay for the awesome psychedelic beat. 

Wait wait wait wait wait.

Wait.

Where have I heard this before?

?!?!?!?!

THIS IS MADNESS!!!!

Is this like a sample? 

This my party I can cry if I want to… WHERE HAVE I HEARD THIS BEFOREEEEEEEEEEEE IT’S DRIVING ME CRAZYYY.

Is this the song they used to play on kids shows?

I’m laughing I’m crying I feel like dying? Relatable. Third runner up for my whatsapp status.

And then someone screams.

This might be the best song so far. Encore!

Nooo don’t be over 😦

9- Tag, You’re It

Oooh creepy dark voice. Me likey.

How can she take these kiddie titles and make them so awesome?! Like wow! Seriously. Who thought Tag, You’re It could be that catchy.

Eenie meenie minie moe lol. This reminds me so much of Raining Men. *domdomdadadadadomdomdom*

Omg yes desintegrate urself bitch. Fab.

10- Milk and Cookies.

Can I eat this? 

Too bad.

Why is the chorus so superficially produced it’s disconcerting I’m scared. I need to lower the volume. Too many crazy bells.

All the songs kind of sound similar but each one is so unique. Weird. But I guess that’s how albums should be.

11- Pacify Her

More with the lullaby. Really?

This one is much more tolerable though.

Yas bae slay that basic bitch.

Lol this is so shady. Pacify that bitch or I’ll shoot her.

This is greatness.

Well to answer your question Mel, no, wanting is not equal to getting. I want to be Miranda Sings but I will never be no matter how hard I try to fuck up my voice.

Anyway.

12- Mrs. Potato Head

Why the moaning bitch how old are you.

I really have no idea in what context she will possibly use Mrs. Potato Head. How many definitions could a potato head have?!

Let’s see.

Wait. Sexual? What’s sexual about a round piece of plastic? 

Oh well I get it.

Okay sorry but I don’t get what Mrs. Potato Head has to do with this.

Oh wait I get it again. This is about surgery.

You little Melanie, you. The cleverest witch of her age.

She’s basically saying no one will love me. Thanks Meli.

At least my face stays together.

13- Mad Hatter

Okay…

Wow that caught me by surprise!

Sick beat.

Leave ur skin in place hoe.

Can I get the instrumental to this pwease? 

So edgy. 

You’re definitely off your rockers.

Thank you for saying I’m crazy I appreciate it ^^

This song is crazy. This whole album is crazy.

AND I LOVE IT.

Arearararaaa

Do I stop here or do I continue with the bonus tracks?

Oh what the heck.

14- Play Date

I hear this HoghHogh that’s so born to die-y.

More lullabies? Stop it.

Oh I can lend you my Monopoly marina. I mean melanie. Oops. I swear this wasn’t on purpose.

I just realized how weird and confusing these reviews probably sound to people who haven’t heard the songs yet. Like what is this whackadoo talking about XD.

Well listen and you’ll know smh.

15- Teddy Bear

Ooh this beat is nice it’s kinda like Cry Baby.

Groovy. Okay.

Talking in your sleep? Are you talking about my sister? She’s having a conversation with her pillow like right now.

Whow. What? Your teddy bear tried to kill you?!

You’re one freaky bitch if I do say so myslef.

Why am I hearing Daddy Bear. 

This changes the whole meaning of the song. 

Perv.

Her voice is so angelic and demonic at the same time it’s so awesome.

Eh eh eh eyy bye.

16- Cake.

Oh no! Fuck. This track is corrupted. I wanted to redownload it but I forgot. Shit then 😦 I guess I’ll have to review it when I download it. Hope I’ll remember.

So… That was it.

I certainly did not fall asleep.

There are some killer songs in here, many good ones, and barely any fails. I won’t give single ratings to each song because that would be pointless. 

This album ensnared my senses (thanks Snape). The cohesiveness of it all is mindblowing. It’s really haunting and I love it. 

My favorite track for now is probably Pity Party but I won’t know for sure until I give it a second listen. Which I definitely will. I’m so glad I found this album. 

I recommend it to any Marina, Lana, or Pop fan in general. It’s a truly great experience.

Rating: 4.4/5 Stars.

iReview: FROOT by Marina and the Diamonds

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My friend requested a review for this album. As I already love Marina, I thought that this was a good idea, since not many people actually know about her. In fact, most of them think she’s a band.

She’s not, people. She’s not.

Her name is Marina Diamandis (fabulous, ikr?) So she chose the stage name Marina and the Diamonds. Probably because it sounds cooler and less pretentious than Marina Diamandis.

So this album was a really nice listen. I had already listened to her previous album, Electra Heart (which I totally recommend for Pop/EDM fans), and I loved it, even though it was loud and dull at times. And to be completely honest, I wasn’t so sure about her voice. When it got high, it was slightly annoying.

This one is completely different, while still maintaining a nice pop feel throughout. The opening track, Happy, is a calm ballad. When I first heard it, I thought it was a total snooze fest, I mean, I expected something a bit more upbeat from a song called Happy. However, it has grown on me over time. I love its lyrics, and it’s one of the songs I like to listen to before I sleep. (I listen to songs before I sleep. Don’t judge me.)

Froot, the title track, is an infectious pop gem; and its production reminded me strangely of the Super Mario soundtrack. 

The album contains 12 tracks. 6 of these I thought were great (the first 4 and last 2), and the other 6 a bit less. So the term ‘filler’ fits literally here. She put these four awesome songs in the beginning so we go like ‘oh, that’s a great start=great album!‘ And then there’s these 6 songs that are like meh and THEN she ends the album with two great songs so that we’re left thinking ‘well you can’t say that’s not a good album because it’s great from start to finish‘. Good one, Marina.

Still, I’m not saying it isn’t.

Tracks like Better Than That, Gold, Solitaire and Forget may have been, ironically, forgettable. However, each song has something special about it, that will make you listen to it one, two, ten more times.

The last track, Immortal, was a great choice to close the album. It’s raw, emotional and its music has a rather nostalgic and gloomy feel to it. But like, in a good way. I also have used the instrumental in a few of my presentations and it’s worked really well (can they sue me for this? Now Apple AND Marina are out to get me.) It’s my third favorite track, my second being Savages, a song inspired by the Boston Bombing, that I found to be really clever; it was quite a strong statement. It has a touch of alternative in it, and I made my friend – an alt-rock fan who usually mocks me for listening to pop (even though he’s been found guilty of having all of Nicki Minaj’s albums on his laptop ‘by accident’) – listen to it, and he quite liked it.

And lastly, my favorite track – probably my favorite Marina song ever – is Blue. From the moment these first few notes started twinkling in my earphones, I was under the charm. I have listened to it countless times, and I still get chills every time the prechorus drums kick in. It’s absolutely fabulous. Even though it’s a break up song, it actually makes you feel cheerful! It’s a perfect pop song.

FROOT is the album I would recommend to anyone who’s just discovered Marina, as it blends both her first two albums in a great way, and to any pop/indie fan looking for a nice album to listen to during summer vacation.

Rating: 4/5

iReview: The Fault In Our Stars by John Green

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When I told my friends I wanted to read this book, they were like NO. They said it was overrated and stupid. Knowing my friends, I read the book anyway.

So let me make this clear: I try to avoid reviews/opinions on books (or music, or movies) before I read/hear/watch them myslef, because often my own opinion becomes too obscured by what others think, and that’s a big bummer, especially if it’s something negative. For example, Allegiant. Goodreads made me hate it. I’ll probably post about it later.

Anyway, this was not the case. I enjoyed The Fault in Our Stars in the way I was intended to, because, like what I heard many other people say, it left me weeping. Me. Who has never, ever, shed a tear to anything except the Pensieve scene in the last Harry Potter movie. And that’s just during the movie; the book left me unfazed.

It was my first John Green book, I read it in a few days during Christmas break and it was an enjoyable and refreshing read, following the complicated Angels & Demons that my friend had lent me (and that I didn’t even finish). 

The characters spoke in a quite weird and unrealistic way, like I would never expect atual teenagers to speak that way, and that’s coming from me. However, it added to the fun and quirkiness of it all.

It was less passive than I expected. I thought it was going to be a girl ranting on and on about how her life is not the same since she has cancer and how she fell in love with a handsome boy and how their love is forbidden and boohoomimblewimble, but it actually wasn’t that dramatic at all, apart from the ending, of course. 

In fact, the ending, while great, wasn’t really my favorite part, nor was it the part that made me ‘weep’ (and by weep I mean my eyes got all watery and stuff. It wasn’t exactly an endless flood of tears). It was when Hazel’s mother told her that she was going to start working that I felt a concentrated jolt of emotions hit me right in the feels. All Hazel was worried about was obstructing the life of her loved ones, and now she knew her parents will keep going, fighting new battles. That was really touching.

This was really the only time I could remember being brought to tears by a book, no matter how brief that moment was. However, it was the movie that made me really cry. It was done beautifully. The parts that hadn’t stirred my emotions in the book did so in the scenes, and I commend Shailene Woodley for her awesome interpretation of the main character. The thing I did not like about it was the ending line, ‘Okay’. I was like NOOOO YOU RUINED IT YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO SAY I DO AUGUSTUS WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY I DO AUGUSTUS WHYYY but now I’m fine with it.

Sure, the books were way over-hyped, and sure, it wasn’t the most original plot, but it was still a good book worth reading. I recommend it to everyone, even if you were hesitant or intimidated by its popularity. It has dimmed down now. No one’s gonna judge you. Probably.

Rating: 4/5

iReview: The Pinkprint by Nicki Minaj

Okay so I used to hate Nicki Minaj as much as the next person. But turns out her music is hella catchy and cray cray. Just my type. So I listened to her first two albums and I digged them and now I thought hey why not listen to her last album so I have something to review because if I don’t review something soon the iReview thing will look stupid and pointless and very awkward which it is, but still. So here it is. I’m going to review the album track by track, and give ratings to every song and then a total rating because I really, really love rating stuff.

(it’s also interesting to note that it’s her only album that doesn’t have her face and/or butt on it which is weird but a nice change. Not that I have anything against her face and/or butt.)

(oh and also I wrote this review on Wednesday but I’m posting it on Friday because Pink Friday, duh.)

Here we go:

Untitled

Tracks:

1-All things go:

It all starts off with the sound of a vacuum cleaner. Then she starts rapping over the vacuum cleaner and rhymes “vent” with “vent”. And then more rapping. Sounds like a regular rap song during the first minute.

Then she starts repeating the title like an opera singer, and then the chorus kicks in and she’s singing and it sounds pretty good!

Then she talks about problems with her family and the title starts making sense because all things go except family, duh! I guess that’s what I understood.

I think this must have been a very emotional song to write/record/publish, and I’m a fan.

Rating: 3.8 (yep I’m too cool for plain numbers)

2-I lied:

Are you sure this is Nicki Minaj’s album?

It just doesn’t sound that way. There’s a lot more singing and a lot less rapping in these first songs. And can I just say I love her voice. Who knew?! It was like listening to Colleen sing after being used to Miranda’s voice.

Oh and I love that dramatic “fuck you” in the middle of the song, so romantic with the echo and shit :’)

By the end of the song I’d be surprised if she hasn’t turned into Pinocchio yet (badum tss). Gurl I get it. You lied. Rating: 1

Jk I lied too

Rating: 3.7

3-The crying game:

Yeey she’s rapping again.

I love this lute-y background music.

Wait. Is that her singing the pre-chorus?

Well one thing’s for sure, she’s definitely not the one singing the chorus. It sounds like an upgraded (but still broken) version of Katy Perry.

Why is everything so emotional like bruh go back to rapping about icing wrist-es and pissing on bitches and sucking diznicks and taking jizzes and throwing disses and ass kisses.

Rating: 3.5

4-Get on your knees feat. Ariana Grande:

Ooh I like this beat. And the opening chorus.

Just when I thought we were back on the rapping bandwagon Ariana comes and sings about poets and roses and getting emotional. Shit then.

Oh wait she says she doesn’t want that.

Well I agree sista. Carry on.

Wait did she just say ‘I’m on my Katy Perry’? What’s that supposed to mean? She’s going to suck? Ooh now I get it. That’s what he’s begging her for.

Does Ariana need to scream on every damn song

I like this middle-8/bridge/whatever you call it.

Overall it’s a nice song. Me gusta.

Rating: 4.05 (just because.)

5-Feeling myself feat. Beyonce

Gosh, if this had a better beat/background music it would have been much better. I love Queen Bey and I’m a huge fan of Flawless. They could do better. But this is still not bad.

That  ‘World Stop.. Carry On’ part deserves a Grammy tbh.

Is that Rrrrrrr part like a Nicki Minaj trademark or what. I heard that before on Anaconda.

Rating: 3.666 (illuminati confirmed)

6-Only feat. Too many people to count

Of course you didn’t fuck Wayne and Drake bae. They fucked you.

God that beat is annoying.

Is that Chris Brown? How do female singers still feature him on their records?!  SHOW SOME SISTERHOOD.

Drake sounds like he’s impersonating Lil Wayne.

And vice-versa.

Or maybe I confused the two. Idk.

Rating: 3.54

7-Want some more

This should be called Wahsmoh.

Lol I love this Monneeeeey part.

And all the following eeeeeyyyy parts. I already love this song.

There you are! The Nicki I love! The Nicki from Pink Friday and Roman Reloaded!

Thank yuuuuuuuu

Imma go ahead and rate this right now.

Rating: 5

8-Foor Door Aventador

Well first of all kudos for the title which sounds funny.

What is this? I’m confused.

Wait is this the chorus. It sounds stupid and annoying. Please Nicki, stop hiring random people to sing your choruses. It makes no sense. Or is this some kind of sample like in Anaconda? Meh. Still don’t like it.

And still don’t get the title.

Rating: 3.1

9- Favorite feat. Jeremih

Why does every male singer sound more or less like Chris Brown

This is kinda weird. Why do you wanna be my fayvrit.

Man do they all have speech impediments or something?

DAMMIT NICKI WHAT SHOULD I ALREADY KNOW?!

Nope.

Rating: 3.3

10- Buy a Heart feat. Meek Mill

Well the title is definitely something.

Is she saying don’t you say right now? It’s kinda hard to tell.

Well. I’m digging that beat.

Wow. Gosh. That chorus kicks in and it’s like poboushwzzpawszz. In other words, I love it. And I love how sharp Nicki’s voice is in this.

And in the verses where she sings for a bit. Fabulous.

Enybaryenybaryenybary WANABAH

I really, really like this one.

Rating: 5

11-Trini dem girls feat. Lunchmoney Lewis (wtf?)

Ooh I get the tropical vibes.

Ohh gosh my ears are nearly bleeding. WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT LETTING RANDOM PEOPLE SING YOUR CHORUSES, ONIKA. You lose points on this one. Which is a shame because the rapping and the pre-chorus are great.

PLEAASSEE STOP SAYING PAT DE PUM PUM OR WHATEVER IS THAT TORTURING SOUND THAT YOU’RE MAKING.

Rating: 3.5 (it could have easily been a 4 if not for good ol’ Lunchbox Lewinsky or whatever his name is)

12-ANACONDAA YASSS

I fucking love this song. When I first heard it I was like GURL, NO but I quickly became addicted.

I have a friend called Michael and we could have totally made jokes about his Eiffel in school if he listened to anything non-arabic. Too bad.

Is it bad that I’ve totally memorized this entire song including the exact timings of the maniacal HAHHAAAHEHAHA and RRRRRRRR and JYEAH and other interjections of the sort?

It probably is. But who cares.

Rating: one million.

13- The night is still young

Wowzi there. Loving these vibes. Proceed.

I’m getting a lot of Starships-esque/Pound the alarm-y flashbacks on here. Fantastic. And her voice is still great.

I expected the chorus to be different, like more upbeat, but it’s still pretty awesome.

This should have totally been a single this summer. But maybe it’s for the better, because I tend to start hating stuff that everybody hears and overplays. This is gonna be my summer jam and mine only.

Rating: 5

14- Pills N Potions:

This is the first single from the album; I remember once image-searching for the word ‘pills’ for some project and I found some pics from the video of this song (before having seen it) and I was like hmm she looks like Nicki Minaj but nah it can’t be her she looks beautiful. That was when I hadn’t seen her without her wigs and crazy costumes. Kinda like Lady Gaga. And then I saw the video on MTV and loved it and was surprised by her look and her voice on the hook which was really awesome.

So yeah, it’s a nice song. And I love the beat.

Rating: 4.4

15-Bed of lies feat. Skylar Grey

You know I never like these pairings. Their two voices don’t go along at all. It reminds me of Headlights by Eminem and Nate Ruess; not the actual song, but the fact that I didn’t understand their collaboration at all.

The song itself is kinda okay I guess. Maybe Nicki should have sung that chorus. Skylar sounds like a little girl. And she might be. I don’t know much about her honestly.

Rating: 3.49 or something

16- Grand Piano

A song called grand piano that starts with a piano? Call me surprised!

Oh my. I love this.

Oh my god that chorus.

Please say Piianooo again. Pretty please. It’s majestic af. Or should I say, Minajestic huehue

Wait. So no rapping on this one? This might be the only Nicki Minaj song that doesn’t have even a hint of hip hop. And it might also be my favorite song of hers. I love it. It’s really touching.

What a beautiful way to end the album.

Rating: 5

I actually have 6 more songs from multiple deluxe versions but I feel like sticking to the standard version. Mostly because I’ve gotten a bit tired. Okay so quick skim over these: Big Daddy is okay, but I liked the other Meek Mill collab way better. Shanghai, I don’t really get. But I like the part where she goes Shanghai, shanghai, shanghai, etc. Win Again should have never been a bonus track because it’s fucking great and I love it and it gets a 5 star rating because it can’t be ignored. It’s kinda like a sophisticated Want Some More. Mona Lisa is all weird and repetitive. Put you in a room is meh. Truffle Butter feat Drake and Lil Wayne a.k.a The Men She Didn’t Fuck is kinda good but in a weird way. Lil Wayne is both disgusting and interesting on this.

So because I rated Win Again I guess I’ll give a collective rating for the other bonus tracks: 3.67

Overall I can say that I enjoyed this album and some of these tracks are going to be eventual favorites of mine. If I were to rate it I’d say a 4.33 but I guess since I rated every song I’ll just go ahead and calculate the general rating. Just a moment.

General Rating: 4.09 (55,559.333333 if I were to count Anaconda as literally one million.)

Close enough!

Good job nicki, you just got your definite seal of approval from moi. You’re fucking welcome.

Well, that was a long, long review. It took me the length of the actual album to write. ‘cause I was listening to it while writing, duh. Maybe future reviews should be done after hearing the album, without track-by-track commentary. Or not. I’ll see.

See you next time on iReview!

iReview: The Perfectionists Series by Sara Shepard

20549288  So I got the first book to my friend on Christmas, and her sister read it and her best friend read it and basically everyone read it before her so when she finally got the time to read it I snatched it away from her for a couple of weeks so I can read it because hello I’m the one who paid for it?

Fortunately for both of us, it only took me a couple of days to finish this insanely addictive book.

I had gotten her this particular book in the first place because I saw it was written by Sara Shepard, author of Pretty Little Liars, and I knew she loved the TV series and she loved reading so I thought this can’t be a bad gift in any way. I never really thought I’d read something like it myself because it seemed too much chick-flick-y, but I eventually did.

Like, wow. If all of Sara’s books are like that, bring it on! The story is hugely entertaining, and the main characters, five girls who each share their point of view in their respective chapters, are really interesting to read about. And when you get to that last page… I guess it’s a similar feeling to what old-school cartoon characters would feel like when they’re running on a cliff and they suddenly find themselves running on thin air and then they realize it and after a few seconds of distorted facial expressions they begin plummeting down to their doom [and eventual resurrection since they’re cartoon characters and the depiction of what would really happen in such a situation could leave serious psychological damage on younger audiences].

I guess these last few unnecessary sentences could have been summarized by saying that it’s a real cliffhanger.

I immediately started reading the second book, The Good Girls, in e-book format because there was no way in hell I was going to order the physical copy and wait two whole weeks before I know what happens to the girls and who the hell is the murderer.

I tore through the second book, the first half was kinda mild but the second half totally made up for it.  It’s so damn full of plot twists that you’ll find yourself a tangled mess when you’re done with it. What’s really awesome is that the identity of the killer is not the real shocker. Well in a way it kinda is. But Sara fools us all.

She lays in front of us all these subtle but obvious clues as to who is the killer near the third quarter of the book, so that you’re pretty sure now who did it, and then it actually turns out to be who you suspected, so you’re feeling all smug and good about yourself and thinking haha I knew it you ain’t foolin’ me I’m smarter than u and then BAM! The truth bomb blows up in your face and you didn’t even expect it because you were too busy feeling pride and contempt. Honestly I hope this doesn’t give much away because I would have HATED to have the ending spoiled for me.

Caitlyn did it.

Just kidding. Seriously. Honest to God. Because 1) if anything it’s Caitlin (and don’t worry it’s not – and if you even suspected her idk how your thinking process works but I recommend an upgrade) and 2) Caitlyn Jenner has enough problems for her own to have to worry about deaths in Beacon Heights.

Eventually my friend read the book and just like me she had a stroke and a heart attack like you all probably will when you get to that ending and we all lived happily ever after but in constant paranoia. The end 🙂

Overall Rating: 4.5/5

iReview

So this sounds like an Apple product… can they sue me for this?

If you’re Apple, please don’t.

If you’re another company/fruit/person, welcome to iReview!

What is iReview you might ask?

Well basically it’s a place where I review. Simple.

Look at me being all serious and review-y.

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And well I’m no expert on reviews, but I like giving my unwanted opinion about all sorts of stuff so this is the perfect opportunity to pretend to be a music/movie/book/blog critic.

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I’ll review albums I hear, movies I watch, books I’ve read, and other things.

I’ll try to make it as entertaining and unstupid as I can.