How I made it to Choir! (Part 2)

Here is the last part of my story about how I made it to choir. It is long, but I wanted to tell it with all the details. Here’s where we left off:

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I guess my panic was pretty obvious because Sister M said calmly ‘don’t worry, it’s alright, I just wanted to know why you were here.’
‘I just wanted to try out… For the experience… And my friend told me…’ I muttered. Mini was gonna pay for this.

She asked me what chant I had prepared, and for some reason I just stood there, frozen, apparently trying to think of something to sing other than the hymn I had been preparing for days. Why I did that is still I mystery but it sure as hell made me look like I just kind of wandered here by mistake and said ‘oh hey, I know what would be fun, I’ll try out for choir!’

At last, I regained reason and told her what I would be singing. She was going to accompany me with the piano, and she would stop playing at some point to see if I could continue singing with no music.

I was taken aback. I did not know that I would be singing over a piano, and I had never done it before. What if I went horribly off tune? Oh god oh god oh god.

Sister M started playing. I took a deep breath. Then I started singing.

Something strange happened then. It was as though a switch went off inside me. I didn’t know how or why, but suddenly, singing felt like the most natural thing in the world! I couldn’t believe how much better I sounded with the piano. It just seemed to flow out if me effortlessly. Not that I became some sort of Frank Sinatra, but I just thought ‘this is right.’ I started smiling. I almost caught myself laughing at many occasions and quickly stopped myself so that I don’t ruin the song.

I was then asked to do another song. I had not prepared for that. I didn’t even know all the words! I tried my best, and ended up just repeating the chorus, but that’s fine.

Next, I had to sing the notes that Sister M played on the piano. That was to see if I could get the notes right. Sure enough, I did pretty well.

Lastly, it was time for the vocal exercice, in which I have to sing ‘Mééééaaaaiiiiii’ on different – what, keys? I don’t know what these are called. But I know that it kicks up a note every time, and I have to sing it over and over until I can’t reach.

I found it quite fun, and I also had to stop myself laughing there, because it was kinda ridiculous, me standing there with my mouth wide open belting out this sound I only ever heard on Star Academy.

I didn’t reach too high. I guess I looked worried, because then the nun called in a boy who seemed to have been in choir for a long time. She did the same exercice with him, and he could reach the high notes I couldn’t. Was she just showing me that I’m not good enough? I wasn’t very pleased.

But then, she started lowering the notes, and he reached a point where he couldn’t go on. That’s when she asked me to pick up, and I did. It wasn’t hard at all. I kept going down until my voice was just a rumble. So it’s not about singing the highest you can after all.

I finished. She looked at me, and held out her hand.
‘Congratulations! You’re a Bass.‘ She said, smiling.
I took her hand disbelievingly. Is that it? I’m in?!
‘What’s a bass?’ I asked.
‘It’s your vocal type, it means you can sing the lower notes. They’re few here, so it’s great to have an addition.’

So that was it. I’m officially in. I felt so light, so relieved – I made it! How?! It was unreal. All my worries were pointless. Wow!!!

I immediately texted everyone. Told them I wasn’t accepted. Just to mess with them. Especially Mini.

I then started talking with Sister M and the other boy about myself. My grades, where I’m from, my hobbies… I said that I loved listening to music, and playing the piano, but only by ear. So she asked me if I could play and sing something. The first song that popped into my head was Gaga’s ‘Bad Romance’. I played the chorus on the piano, rather nervously, because I had never done it in front of anyone before. For the song, I started to sing ‘Wide Awake’ by Katy Perry because I had sung it the day before on karaoke and felt good about it, but I didn’t feel good at all after a few notes so I changed my mind midway and sang ‘Dollhouse’ by Melanie Martinez instead. It was okayish. She noticed that I have a small lisp with the letter S, which I’ve had since I was little, and told me that I should have seen a doctor for it. I don’t think my parents really cared about that.

‘So when do I start?’ I asked.
‘Today. The lesson starts at 4’ she replied.
It was 3:30 now. I’ll wait. I was very excited.

When Mini came, I was standing alone outside, with a very fake frown. I assumed he had gotten my message, because he had an apologetic tone when he asked ‘what happened?’ Aww. After all, he did recommend me. I should be thanking him. Instead, I smiled and said ‘Bass.
‘Wait – really?! That’s great, I’m bass too! We’re only like 4 and there are so many tenors (I assumed tenors were the high-singers like that other boy). Sister M told me she’d kill me if I had brought in a new one.’

That was nice to hear. Maybe I wasn’t going to be a useless adition after all.

Moments later other chorists started arriving, and I could tell Mini was right because they seemed happy to know that there was a new bass. When everyone was there at last, we all sat on chairs, each group (Bass, Tenor, Alto [lower-voiced girls] and Soprano [the opposite]) alone.

Sister M started the session by welcoming me into the choir, and I received polite applause from everyone. I didn’t notice this, but I was actually the only one who tried out.

We then went into respiration and relaxation exercices. These were fun.

Not as fun as the vocal exercices, though. These were amazing. Hearing everyone sing at once, it was close to magical. I couldn’t believe I was a part of that.

I had some trouble at first adjusting to the right keys, but I quickly recovered.

Then, it was time to learn a new song. She gave us the music sheets, and each group was off to learn it alone, because as I came to know we don’t all sing the same tunes.

As it was my first time, I had some problems singing the right notes at certain places. But they were all very patient and encouraging with me, not once did they seem annoyed or amused, and they told me that this was a hard song compared to the usual (though I feel like they were just trying to raise my spirits).

But it did pay off, and I finally reached those tricky notes. I felt very pleased with myself.

Usually, after learning a song, we were supposed to sing it all together (the four groups), but that day was an exception because they were having elections for choir president and assistants. The president and his crew from last year had prepared a nice little ceremony involving funny sketches and a buffet, and I thought their spirit was awesome. I was happy to be part of such a community.

I told Mini about that, and he said ‘I know. This is the only place at school that I really like.’

I then understood why he wanted us here. And I’m very, very glad I joined.

iReview: BADLANDS by Halsey

Good evening, young lads and ladies!

A while ago, when I reviewed Cry Baby by Melanie Martinez, a fellow blogger and music lover gxxdbyeagony (check out her blog!) suggested that if I liked Melanie’s music, I’d love this artist called Halsey. I looked her up, saw that he had just dropped her first album and that many other people compared her to Melanie, who I loved. So I downloaded the album, and have been eager but reluctant to hear it.

First off, I don’t want to let go of my precious Cry Baby just yet. And I also was afraid that I just wouldn’t connect with this and understand it like I did with Cry Baby, which was all coherent and clear.

Nevertheless, I want to see – or listen, for that matter – for myself and make my own opinion. Who knows, maybe I’ll love it!

Leggo:

1-Castle

Okay… Spooky…

Wow. Awesome beat.

Is this opera? Church choir? What is this?

Oh god, her voice sounds just like Melanie! Which is certainly a good thing.

I feel like this is the grown up version of Cry Baby? (the album I mean. Maybe it’s too early to judge)

I think I’m going to read the lyrics as I listen, much more easy to understand.

I wasn’t wrong. This is about the industry and its rulers and she just wants to break free from them and do whatever the hell she wants. The people want her to be their ‘queen’ but the ‘man’ won’t let her. So she broke free, and now her ‘neck is open wide, begging for a fist around it’. These are great lyrics.

You go girl! Great album starter.

2-Hold Me Down

Okay… Still kinda crybabyish… 

Is this about kidnapping or sexual assault like in Tag, You’re it? Nah I feel like there’s something else…

Hmmmmmm

I can’t help but thinking of ‘Nobbareh Nobbareh can drag me downnn’. Damn you 1D.

Wow. Well, at first this song confused me. But it still has one of the most infectious pop beats I’ve heard recently.

Upon re-listen, I find that this song is kind of a follow up to Castle. She’s free, she’s trying to reach the top, but something’s holding her down. Is it me, or do I see no sign of resistance? Is she just giving in to her demons?

I guess we’ll find out later.

3-New Americana

Balenciaga! I know this brand! I think.

Oh my god I love this chorus.

This is the best rhyming ever. Americana and Marijuana. She knows her shit.

GOSH I LOVE HOW SHE SAYS AMERICANA

The production is just awesome. Beautiful. Love it. 

I think this is throwing shade at America/ns more than being a pride anthem? I’m not sure. 

Or she may be talking about how SHE grew up and rose to fame… Or she could just be naming the things that have been made famous in America -or made America famous- like Nirvana, the fashion brands, Football teams, gay marriage, bubblegum pop… 

Maybe it’s a mix of them all?

4-Drive

OMG YASSSS

THIS IS GREATNESSS

The music is just so rustic and creepy and old-school-horror-movie-y.

Oh yas gurl preach. As I said it before, this girl knows her shit. All we do is sit and drive and feel all the feels.

Noooo. You disappointed me a little. I don’t really like these songs that go like ‘and we say aaaaahhhhohhhhh’ like really? What is that supposed to mean?

The second verse has so much sounds. It’s really like a movie.

Wait who is this guy?

Does anyone feel like there’s a guy singing with her in the chorus? Or maybe that’s her lower-pitched voice… Either way, the effect is great and this sounds epic.

Twitwututwitwutu

What’s happening? This is weird. This is the album version of a horror movie.

LOVE IT.

5-Hurricane

The chorus is great… but I almost feel like it’s the same as another song before?

But I say that at the first listen of every album. I’ll get over that later.

There are just too many echoes and sounds and buzzes… it’s hypnotic. I love that little whistling sound.

I still feel like this is Melanie’s voice and it’s so amazing how they’re not the same person.

OH GOD YES

EARGASM

The last bit of chorus is so full of goodness. It’s dreamy. More like nightmareish. But in the good way. Eerie.

Now, I don’t really get where she went with this right away. At first I thought she’s being sexually exploited, but then in the chorus it turns out that she’s some sort of gypsy who goes around fucking everyone because she can and causing storms and hurricanes. And she must have something special about her, because men are literally begging her to destroy them.

The grim music fits the lyrics perfectly. 

6-Roman Holiday

Wait. Roman holiday… I thought Nicki Minaj invented that name? so it’s a real thing?

Oh well.

At least there are no horrible singing voices in this one telling roman to take his medication.

Wait… did I not hear the roman holiday part or does she not even mention it?

Shush im trying to concentrate.

Yup there it is. Let’s get away on a roman holiday.

The song is pretty straightforward, it’s just about two friends/lovers escaping their lives for a short time, going on a ‘holiday’.

ORRR... This could very well be a break-up track. Going on a holiday could be a metaphor for taking a break from the relationship. This makes more sense if you look at the verses’ lyrics.

This song sounds like a movie soundtrack. Like the part where they’re all happy and carefree until something dreadful happens.

Let’s hope it’s not foreboding for the next song.

7-Ghost

Nope. This one isn’t dreadful. At all. It’s pretty great actually.

It’s also the first one where I could clearly make out the lyrics by myself.

I don’t undertand. Does she love him? Did she love him but not anymore? Did he change?

Ohhh yeah I get it. Nice comparison. His former self is dead. He has changed and she can’t recognize the man she once loved. He has ‘a million number’ on his phone, which means the douchebag is probably off screwing other girls.

8- Colors

This is like a mix of Dollhouse and Sippy Cup. UHMAZING!

Oh my gosh! In the chorus she now sounds like Taylor Swift!

I love it so much. Bluuuuuuuuuuhouwowuhuu (or at least I think its what shes saying)

Wait. He has grey hair? Is this about a creepy grandpa?

I love all the use of color in here!

I wish she had called this song Blue. Then I could have two of my favorite songs called Blue (this and Marina’s).

This is the song I’m having most trouble understanding.

In a weird way, it sounds as though she’s talking to -or about- a fictional character from a book. It’s probably not that but it makes sense with the lyrics! And I’d love it if anyone would actually make a song about being in love with a fictional character. Ah…

9-Colors, pt. 2

Wait I thought this was supposed to be a second part, so like it connects to the previous one?

This one is just sad and scary… no color. Like at all.

Ohhh there it is. Everything is-

What? Everything is what?

OH MY GOD. Another eargasm. This is like a twisted remix. I’m not sure which I prefer. Both perfect!

10-Strange Love

Yassssss. Awesome beat to match the title.

Wow. That was straightforward.

Yep. Just fuck em all. Nun o’ their bidness.

Ouuhh she’s afraid of speaking his name. Is he Voldemort?

This is one of the more subdued songs on here. But it’s still kinda crazy.

The song’s meaning is very clear. Everyone wants to know about her lovelife. She just doesn’t want anyone to know because it’s really none of their business. Glad she’s taking a stand.

11-Coming Down

Badlands radio? What?

Ohh the name of the album.

Okay.

This is comparing her love to religion.

Like literally everything in this song is religious references in a relationship. Quite interesting.

By “he’s coming down”, does she mean like the Second Coming? Or I don’t get it…

I really like how calm this is. Suits the song. Her voice just flows through.

Itscamadandancamadaawn. So gruuvy.

He must be underground already if he keeps coming down *badumtss*

12-Haunting

Yep. This is definitely haunting.

And now I think I’m possessed.

What a literal album. That’s not a bad thing.

Gold boyfriend? Sell him you stupid hoe!

Oh shit what has she done that’s so serious.

Her voice really does sound strained and scared. By the power of Jesus, get out of that woman you awful demon! Thank you.

Or stay, if that means more awesome music.

Ah well, I did really think there’s gonna be a scream like in Pity Party on here. Would have made it 10 times better. Still awesome though.

On second listen, I just realized that the weird sounds at the beginning of the song is the same during the chorus, and it’s not just a weird sound, it’s saying ‘Keep On Haunting Me‘. That was strange, but okay.

I love the idea of a former lover ‘haunting’ her in her new relationships. What’s more intriguing is that she’s encouraging him to haunt her. Does she want them to get back together? One could only guess. So far all her songs have alternate meanings, and I feel like it’s really up to the listener to understand them the way he wants.

13-Gasoline

Wow. Track 13 already?! This flowed right through so easily.

I love this asian feel! More pls.

Yep. I feel like I’m in some Chinese castle.

And with chorus, a fight just breaks through in the kingdom. It really feels like a movie.

How many times have I compared this album to a movie already?

Yes, I am strange like you. Though not as much.

The chorus is really everything. It reminds me of Princess of China by Rihanna. For obvious reasons.

But wait… what’s gasoline got to do with this?

Oh. Everyone’s treating her like a machine. Like she’s not human, just for being a celebrity. And like all machines she runs on gasoline – our love and praise for her.

14-Control

Power and controoool, im gonna maaake you faaaaaalll

Okno.

Oho. You’re sure as hell not bigger than Madame Maxime’s bones (if you got the reference, you rock. Lemme know.)

This is Milk & Cookies of this album, in terms of disconcertingness. I’m uncomfortable. But then again, as someone fancy and famous once said, art is supposed to make people uncomfortable.

Oh wow. This last chorus is really powerful. It feels like a movie where she finds out about her powers, and she’s really scared of them. Like Frozen! Nope? Kay.

Oops. Yet another movie comparison.

I don’t really understand this song. Is she being possessed? Is she not in control of her actions? Wow. Intense. She’s even scaring kids.

15-Young God

What is this? Backwards talk?

Im scared. Whats gonna come after this build up…

Oh not much. Meh.

This song isn’t picking up! Bitch pick up! I’m waiting!

I want a steady beat! This has so much potential.

Oh wow what the hell did I just hear.

If you fuck me right now you’ll go to heaven?!

What is this? This is far more twisted than Cry Baby.

I don’t get it. I just don’t. These last few songs are confusing. 

Is he sort of just persuading her to fuck him?

What do young gods have to with this?

And to top it off the song just stops in the middle of a sentence!

16-I Walk The Line

Yet more weird sounds…

Oooo piano. Finally something sorta familiar. This sort of sounds like Heaven by Beyonce. I feel like I’ve compared another song to it before. Meh.

I love this. This beat, this pace, the lyrics, perfect.

Oh. That was just the pre-chorus. The chorus is even cooler.

This is great. Great song. Dark romance. At least I think it’s romance.

Could be anything really.

***

That was my review! As always this was a first listen and I wrote down everything I felt while listening.

However, this time I decided to sleep on it and really try to understand the songs more on second listen, which makes for a more substantial review (that’s why the first part of each song review is initial reactions and the second part is my interpretation).

This is also my first time reviewing with my new headphones (gift from a generous friend), and it’s awesome because they give more bass and I don’t have to stick them in as they slide out of my ears every few minutes.

So the album was good, even better the second time around. I could definitely see how it all connects. I really loved some parts, some were a bit confusing, some just too much, but overall I got what I expected and I couldn’t ask for much more.

I guess my favorite is Colors because I’ve played it many times already and it’s so fucking good and fulfilling.

I don’t know if this will match up to my Cry Baby standards and I’ll start playing it all day… we’ll see!

Rating: 4.25/5 Stars.

Q&A Tag!

Bawnjorno 

Today I’m gonna do the Q&A tag/challenge; I was nominated by gxxdbyeagony to do it (this is my first nomination ever aaaa :’) thanku ) and here are the rules:

Respond and rework; answer the questions and replace one you ‘dislike’ with a question of your own.Tag 3 or more people to do this tag.

Let’s get to your qwastshanss (god I miss colleen’s corner so much) 

1.What is your favourite book/series?

It’s basically plastered all over my blog, Harry Potter of course!

2. What song is your ringtone?

Currently, Sex Yeah instrumental by Marina and the Diamonds. I usually use intrumentals to avoid weird stares.

3. What are you wearing today?

I’ve been wearing jeans and a tshirt everyday for about 4 years now. (not the same ones of course. I’m not a vagrant.)

4. Hair?

What do you mean, “Hair”? Do I have hair? Is that your question? Do you have a favorite hair? Do you support hair rights? 

I’ll just assume you’re asking what my hair looks like.

Since I’m no expert at hair description I’ll just show you a pic I took at the hairdresser right after I got my haircut (it’s now much flatter but meh)

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5. Your favourite thing in the world? 

Are you kidding? I can’t chose. I’d hurt other things’ feelings.

6. What is the last thing you ate?

I had eggs and some sort of greasy meat for breakfast.

7. What is something you’d like to learn?

Piano. But it’s too late.

8. What’s for dinner today?

It’s too early to ask.

9. What are you listening to right now?

Unison by Björk (she’s by far the most mystical, whimsical thing I have ever laid ears on).

10. Favourite colour?

Between Aqua Blue and Cyan.

11. What weird talents do you have?

I do not consider this weird or a talent at all, but everyone around me thinks that it’s mind blowing how I can read books. You heard me. Just the fact of reading is astonishing. Smh.

12. Most challenging goal right now?

To not end up alone and miserable 😀 And to publish a book somewhere in the future, it’s one of my biggest dreams but I don’t think I have the guts for it.

13. What can’t you live without?

My phone, music, books, youtube, and of course the internet. 

14. How was your childhood?

In my first few years I was quite spoiled, being the first child in both my mom and dad’s families, but then other babies started pouring down and I continued with a normal childhood. Well, if you count reading and making up stories while all the others were playing catch or football ‘normal’…

15. Favourite songs?

Right now, Pity Party by Melanie Martinez. Of all time, it has to go to Bad Romance by Lady Gaga. This song has shaped my taste in music and it was the first one that really struck me (I was about 9-10 when I heard it, I think it was one of the first English songs I knew)

16. If you could have anything in the world in your hand right now what would it be?

It would either be: a) A USB containing all of Lady Gaga’s unreleased songs that have not yet leaked (there must be hundreds) b) Infinite concert tickets for Miranda Sings or Gaga shows c) Ten billion dollars

17. What are you most excited for?

Can I name them all? 1) American Horror Story – Season 5 (starring Gagz) 2) The release of Allie Brosh’s new book because HELLO?! 3) The release of Gaga’s next album because it’s been 3 years gurl come on.

18. What’s your favourite type of music?

Everything with the suffix -pop. Dancepop, dreampop, indiepop, electropop, poppop, etc.

19. If you are in the sky with the birds on the rock with the that, and you do it, then will you?

Ooh what a great question. And the answer is, if you want to do, so take it because of it, but don’t let the meat.

20. Favourite singers/bands?

I’m currently really into Melanie Martinez. Usually my favorites change like monthly, just this year it went from Lana to Sia to Taylor to Rihanna to Marina to Nicki to Beyonce to Britney to whoever else, but my all-time favorite, as you might have guess, is Lady Slayga. 

So that was it yaaaaay

I’m going to nominate the first three people who I see on my notification dashboard, let’s see:

KliScruggs

MyTinyObsessions

instantblonde

Hope you guys are down to do this ^^’ Don’t hesitate to check their blogs out!

iReview: Cry Baby by Melanie Martinez

I was on Instagram the other day, looking through a hilarious Marina and the Diamonds fanpage, and there was a lot of talk about a new album called Cry Baby by Melanie Martinez very similar to Marina’s second album, Electra Heart. Being a fan of that album, I immediately downloaded Cry Baby. I have only heard two songs from it, and I liked them, so I’ll listen to the entire album right now for the first time and rate each track. Fingers crossed I won’t fall asleep because it’s midnight.

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Tracks:

1- Cry Baby

First off, this beat is sick. Her voice reminds me of someone but I can’t put my finger on it. Ellona Santiago from X Factor? 

Omg her voice in the chorus sounds just like Lana Del Rey when her voice is strained. 

I got it! She sounds like a young Lana on her old demos. Gogo Dancer! Now I remember! 

This song is way better though. From the production to the lyrics to the voice. I’m excited for what’s to come.

2- Dollhouse

Okay, this kinda sounds like the first song… 

The chorus is enchanting… But also funny. I can’t not hear “It’s Grace’s Faces, Grace’s Faces, I take my friends’ faces and make them… Better!(?)”. I just can’t xD

The lyrics are great though.

You can never go wrong with a Spelling Bee. Di oh el el eytch oh you es i. 

That last lyric is definitely gonna be my new Whatsapp status.

3- Sippy Cup

This sounds like a cat sipping water. Or a tongue flicking on something (I won’t go into much more detail). 

The music is great but I don’t like the chorus melody… It’s ironically too baby like. Maybe (probably) it’s supposed to be this way.

Now let’s play a fun game called In How Many Weird Ways Can You Pronouce Sippy Cup! 

4- Carousel

OMG YAS.

THIS IS SO FAB.

AND CREEPY.

I love these beats that start off as normal sounds and turn into infernal jams. I love this song already.

Is it me or her voice changed?

Omg yas more beats. Slay me with your carnival beats.

Did she say cum on purpose?

Now I have round and round like a horse on a carousel and that other quote for my whatsapp status. Which one to pick gah.

This song is just wow. I love twisted carnivals.

Love it.

5- Alphabet Boy

Babubahbuhba? Me too.

I don’t understand why he’s called Alphabet Boy but that guy sounds like me. I think I’m smarter than all u hoes.

Omg she is so Lana on that bridge. I had almost forgotten how much Lana slays with her haunting voice.

Good job turning babubahbuhba into a hook!

6- Soap

STOP THIS ANNOYING SOUNDDD.

Thank you.

Did she just say I think I left the farts running?

If she did… I love her already.

Wowzi. What is dubsteppy post chorus? It’s so… Soapy! Weird right?

This song is so great, why did you have to start it with a braincrushing sound? Hein? Heinn?

Oooh I’m getting National Anthem vibes. 

7- Training Wheels

Oh no not a lullaby just when I started not feeling sleepy 😦

Yep. A lullaby.

I appreciate the yuuuhuuu and the multiple curse words in the chorus but I can still hear the lullaby sound and it’s driving me mad and I’m trying really hard not to skip this one.

I might have liked this better in different circumstances. But now it’s too much.

YAY IT’S OVER.

8- Pity Party

Yay for the awesome psychedelic beat. 

Wait wait wait wait wait.

Wait.

Where have I heard this before?

?!?!?!?!

THIS IS MADNESS!!!!

Is this like a sample? 

This my party I can cry if I want to… WHERE HAVE I HEARD THIS BEFOREEEEEEEEEEEE IT’S DRIVING ME CRAZYYY.

Is this the song they used to play on kids shows?

I’m laughing I’m crying I feel like dying? Relatable. Third runner up for my whatsapp status.

And then someone screams.

This might be the best song so far. Encore!

Nooo don’t be over 😦

9- Tag, You’re It

Oooh creepy dark voice. Me likey.

How can she take these kiddie titles and make them so awesome?! Like wow! Seriously. Who thought Tag, You’re It could be that catchy.

Eenie meenie minie moe lol. This reminds me so much of Raining Men. *domdomdadadadadomdomdom*

Omg yes desintegrate urself bitch. Fab.

10- Milk and Cookies.

Can I eat this? 

Too bad.

Why is the chorus so superficially produced it’s disconcerting I’m scared. I need to lower the volume. Too many crazy bells.

All the songs kind of sound similar but each one is so unique. Weird. But I guess that’s how albums should be.

11- Pacify Her

More with the lullaby. Really?

This one is much more tolerable though.

Yas bae slay that basic bitch.

Lol this is so shady. Pacify that bitch or I’ll shoot her.

This is greatness.

Well to answer your question Mel, no, wanting is not equal to getting. I want to be Miranda Sings but I will never be no matter how hard I try to fuck up my voice.

Anyway.

12- Mrs. Potato Head

Why the moaning bitch how old are you.

I really have no idea in what context she will possibly use Mrs. Potato Head. How many definitions could a potato head have?!

Let’s see.

Wait. Sexual? What’s sexual about a round piece of plastic? 

Oh well I get it.

Okay sorry but I don’t get what Mrs. Potato Head has to do with this.

Oh wait I get it again. This is about surgery.

You little Melanie, you. The cleverest witch of her age.

She’s basically saying no one will love me. Thanks Meli.

At least my face stays together.

13- Mad Hatter

Okay…

Wow that caught me by surprise!

Sick beat.

Leave ur skin in place hoe.

Can I get the instrumental to this pwease? 

So edgy. 

You’re definitely off your rockers.

Thank you for saying I’m crazy I appreciate it ^^

This song is crazy. This whole album is crazy.

AND I LOVE IT.

Arearararaaa

Do I stop here or do I continue with the bonus tracks?

Oh what the heck.

14- Play Date

I hear this HoghHogh that’s so born to die-y.

More lullabies? Stop it.

Oh I can lend you my Monopoly marina. I mean melanie. Oops. I swear this wasn’t on purpose.

I just realized how weird and confusing these reviews probably sound to people who haven’t heard the songs yet. Like what is this whackadoo talking about XD.

Well listen and you’ll know smh.

15- Teddy Bear

Ooh this beat is nice it’s kinda like Cry Baby.

Groovy. Okay.

Talking in your sleep? Are you talking about my sister? She’s having a conversation with her pillow like right now.

Whow. What? Your teddy bear tried to kill you?!

You’re one freaky bitch if I do say so myslef.

Why am I hearing Daddy Bear. 

This changes the whole meaning of the song. 

Perv.

Her voice is so angelic and demonic at the same time it’s so awesome.

Eh eh eh eyy bye.

16- Cake.

Oh no! Fuck. This track is corrupted. I wanted to redownload it but I forgot. Shit then 😦 I guess I’ll have to review it when I download it. Hope I’ll remember.

So… That was it.

I certainly did not fall asleep.

There are some killer songs in here, many good ones, and barely any fails. I won’t give single ratings to each song because that would be pointless. 

This album ensnared my senses (thanks Snape). The cohesiveness of it all is mindblowing. It’s really haunting and I love it. 

My favorite track for now is probably Pity Party but I won’t know for sure until I give it a second listen. Which I definitely will. I’m so glad I found this album. 

I recommend it to any Marina, Lana, or Pop fan in general. It’s a truly great experience.

Rating: 4.4/5 Stars.