WELCOME SUMMER

BLOOOOGGGGGG
I MISSED YOUUUUUUUUU
Ahhhhhhhhhhh God bless summer vacation

How are you guys?! I have missed talking to you and reading your blogs SO much. I haven’t spoken to yall since the night before my SATs! It’s been nothing but exams since then.
Let me spare you the boring details: it was my first time taling the SAT, and I was so nervous, but it turned out great! I started a bit shaky (couldn’t finish the reading section) but it got a lot better (math was a piece of cake). My results come out on July 21st, hopefully I won’t be disappointed!

After the SAT I had of course my school finals. This was my first time in SEVEN years taking finals. Before, my school used to have something called ‘dispens├ęs’, basically if you’ve had great grades all year you’re rewarded by not doing the final exams. This year our new headmistress thought it was wrong for some reason so I was reduced to taking the test with the rest of the peasants.
And boooy do I NOT regret it!
This could honestly be the best test I’ve ever taken. I didn’t screw anything up, everything went awesome (except maybe not biology but who cares) and all that without even studying all that much (okay tbf I did study a lot but you can’t imagine how much I procrastinated)
I was sleeping at 3AM everyday to finish my studies before the test, which should have made me fail everything (3 hours of sleep before a test!) but surprisingly it made me do great. Yayyy
I can’t wait for my grades. They come out on July 6th. So fast. Take notes, SATs.

In this timeframe I bought a new book at the bookfair called Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes by blogger Cory O’Brien, and IT IS
THE MOST
HILARIOUS THING
I HAVE
EVER SEEN.
Honestly you’ve got all the houtubers doing stupid books (xcept selp helf hay gurl) and then you’ve got bloggers doing amazingness with their books (aka Allie Brosh whose book I also found at that bookfair same time last year – I wonder if next year it will be my book I’ll find :poot: ). It kept me entertained through exam season.

Another thing that kept me entertained slash extremely distracted was my enrollment in the GagaDaily House Cup. Of course I was sorted into Ravenclaw, or as we call it Ravenclause because it has to be Gaga-related duh (you’ve also got GryffinDope, HufflePOP and Slytherin Nights -after Brooklyn Nights- ours was a tribute to Applause but we wanna change it to something clearer like ArtRAVENS… We’ll see.) It is SO fun but SO time consuming. Our first task was to create magical treats for Gaga’s pet Gagawocky. Here’s what we submitted:
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Those are ‘Ravenclause’s Every Flavor RavenSticks’, obviously a reference both to HP’s Bertie Botts’ Beans and Gaga’s song LoveGame (featuring Disco Sticks). We came up with Gaga related flavors and ingredients, and a member helped us design the whole thing, it was awesome.
We were the only house that took into consideration both Harry Potter and Gaga. But this being a pop forum, obviously the judges liked the submission that was more pop; Slytherin’s:

I know right? Preposterous. Anyway, it was still fine since we got second place. Gryffindope are bombing.

But all that fun wasn’t meant to last: this was NOT gonna be an effortless summer. Oh no no, I was going to start working. From one side, I needed some job experience, everyone else had jobs and I wasn’t gonna spend summer doing absolutely nothing like last year. On the other, I also needed money. Many books, movies and albums are coming out this year, and Sia’s coming to the country so I really want those tickets. Plus, I mean college isn’t too far away, and I need to start saving! (Though I doubt any of this money is going towards college, to be quite honest.)

I went one day with my friend Mini to apply for a job in a hotel. I have no idea what we were thinking: NO job experience, still in school, underage, and applying to work in a friggin five star hotel.

Yet, we got the jobs!

Turns out, they were short on workers. My friend was hired as a waiter, and even better, I got hired as a barback! Basically I help the bartender, prepare the bar, make sure the supplies are available… But you know how I said they were short on workers? Well, that meant that not only was I a barback, but most of the time, I’m also the bartender.

My first day was on Wednesday. I got there, and my boss gave me a very quick tour. Basically, there was the bar in the lobby, the first floor bar, a bar in the restaurant, and a beach bar. Employees usually shift between these.

He took me straight away to Tournesol, the first floor bar. I met my bar mentor, who turned out to be very nice, and he gave me my uniform, showed the main stuff on the bar, introduced me to the staff. Then it was game time: I had to start learning how to actually work.

The first thing I learned to do was an espresso. That was pretty much the base for all things coffee. After learning about the coffee machine, I moved on to boiling milk and making cappucinos and lattes.
Then I learned how to make Turkish coffee, milkshakes of all kind, and lemonade, regular and minted. Of course, I had to learn the proper way to handle, serve, and garnish everything, from fresh orange juice to sodas to wine.

Basically, this was a better job than I could have hoped for. I’ve always loved working with food and drinks, and the job was really not exhausting. The only bad thing is that I have to be standing up for the whole shift (which is 9 hours), but I do have a break and when nobody’s looking, I sit on the ice cooler #rebel

I’m actually at work right now and my break’s about to end! But I’ll procrastinate a lil’ more muhahahahaha

My workink hours are taking up most of my day, so it’s quite hard for me to find the time to read, listen to music and blog. This post itself took me like 3 days to write. But I’m very glad to be back and can’t wait to catch up on all of you guys and see where this summer will take me!

So tell me about yours! How is your summer? How did your exams go? Let me know in the comments!

A Post From My Past Self

My past self is speaking… And it wants to tell you something.

My past self is saying… You are all being trolled. There is no past self. This is not a dramatic post.

Well technically I’m not lying – this is my past self talking. You see, my internet connection has sadly passed away recently and I’m offline but I CAN’T NOT FREAK OUT ABOUT MY EXAMS BEING OVER so I’ll just write this and post it when I get the chance. So when you read this… It’ll be my past self talking!

Oh but wait. Isn’t everything you read written by somebody’s past self?

And I thought I was being clever. Silly me.

Aaaaanyway, OMFG YAS MY EXAMS ARE OVAAAAAA

AFTER ALL THESE YEARS MONTHS WEEKS

I AM SO HAPPY EVEN THOUGH I DID TERRIBLE IN MATH but good in the rest so oh well.

I feel you deserve a compte-rendu of all my exams. Joking, of course you don’t, I just want to give you a compte-rendu because I’m that generous. Joking again, I actually just really like writing compte-rendus. And writing the word “compte-rendu” too. Fun!

Chemistry: first exam! I went in being eaten by nerves. I knew the first exercice. Then I didn’t know the second. Then I looked over the whole test and almost fainted because I saw so many stuff I had no idea about what they meant. I decided to skip the second exercice, and do what I know. So yeah I ended up completing all the exercices (I always freak out over nothing). I came back to the second exercice and in my THRILL about knowing how to solve the first question I FUCKING FORGOT TO DO THE REST OF THE QUESTIONS I AM SO DUMB but still I did well.

Philosophy: I just went in, wrote a jumble of everything I knew about epistemology, Kant, Bachelard, Popper and Plato, sprinkled some pep talk about freedom, and presented. I got my grade today; 14. BOOM. Highest.

[We interrupt our compte-rendu to inform you that our grading system is very very different from what you might be used to. We use actual numbers instead of singing the alphabet #woopsie. So yeah and the coefficient varies but I’ll just give you the grade over 20 to avoid confusion]

Civism: do you guys even have this stupidly useless subject? It’s where you learn about the law and stuff. I got 16.5 just like last time. Well I could’ve done better but it’s a very good grade compared to what I actually studied.

MATH: FUCK YOU MATH JUST FUCK YOU WHY IS IT THAT I ALWAYS UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING IN MATH BUT I DO AWFULLY IN THE TEST IT’S A CONSPIRACY I’M CONVINCED I still haven’t gotten my grade (tomorrow woohoo) but I’ll be lucky to get a sad 15. Not even. THEY JUST MAKE EVERYTHING SO HARD FOR US WHY GOD WHY THIS IS INJUSTICE I NEED to stop screaming.

Arabic: hm, actually not bad! The text was not unfamiliar and I got to trash talk celebrities in the writing assignment. Hopefully I’ll be able to scrape a 13!

[Another interruption: I understand, you must be *really* confused as to how 13 is considered good in one subject while 16 is not in another. Again, our grading standards are really weird and REALLY unfair and just generally shitty. Imagine that for half of our subjects, C/B/B- is the maximum grade. The literal maximum.]

Geography: I’ve been really lucky with these memory-based tests. I also did really well compared to what I studied! Because I didn’t even half study. Rebel.

Biology: I didn’t know at all what to expect, because our teacher is basically a lunatic and I had no idea if she had actually taught me anything. Turns out she *might* have? I didn’t find much difficulty in the test, hopefully that’d be reflected on my grades which I’ll get tomorrow!

French: one of my favorite subjects. The test was quite easy and I got a 14, my average (usually the highest grade but my friend Mini got 15 this time which is a great feat). The only thing that in perplexing is that we had the same subject for the writing as last year. And I got 5/8 this time while I got 6.5/8 last time. Guess it’s just teacher tastes!

History: I studied for this. Honestly. And I didn’t do bad. I’ll have to wait for lunday (WAIT WHAT I mixed Monday with Lundi I must be getting real sleepy lolz) for the grade but I hope it’s somewhere along 18.

Physics: THEY DID IT AGAIN! (This time it’s a happy scream). The test was SO EASY, honestly I love our teachers (YEAH YEAH I know I once wrote a whole post about how my physics teacher’s the biggest asshole BUT turns out he really is one of the best teachers this year). Thank GOD they gave us something to balance out the horrible Maths.

[Okay listen I always have to delete the “s” when I write Maths because you guys write it without one but that’s just how I’ve been taught so bye]

Last, but not least (well actually by some standards it IS least – least demanding, least exhausting, least… Thing), English! The English level at our school is so awfully standard that I pride myself on having actually reached the level of blogging and writing coherant stuff. So yep I did great. I always view the English exam as a fun little activity sheet.

Aaaaaand that’s it! Am I forgetting something?
Hmmmm
OH YES we had a religion exam (Catholic) and I got 16.5, not bad.

So NOW that’s it. Ugh, I can’t believe I’m DONE! Now I’ll have to wait for my grades. I WISH I had my scholarship secured, that way I wouldn’t give two shits about grades, but I have to do my best to earn the best scholarship I can.

I’ll make sure to post all my grades here, don’t worreh. I’m pretty sure you’re not remotely worrehd but oh well I’ll tell you anyway.

Wait has anyone even read this far?

Meh!

After our last exam, we had a little Valentine’s day celebration in the theatre (even though it was like 3 or 4 days later) and we sang and did some stuff but honestly not ONE performance wasn’t messed up somehow. (In the ‘mistake’ kind of messed up. Not the weird and disconcerting messed up. Although some stuff WAS weird and disconcerting. Huh.) But we still had fun especially that we were all so glad the exams were over.

Now it’s 12:33 A.M. and by the time of writing my internet connection is back again (yaaaay) and you’re not reading my past self anymore !

Oh but wait – I already established that everything is past me. Wo’evah. Bye!

I think I’m on a break… Oh shit a plot twist.

I guess I’m taking a blogging break since I have to start studying like crazy for my coming exams.

Yep, mid-year exams are next week and I have to study everything I learned this year (I mean, since September) in under a week. School, study, sleep, repeat.

More like, try to wake up, kinda wake up, wake up, drag yourself to school, sit through school, leave school, start studying, eat, continue studying, study while studying, reluctively finish studying, try to sleep, think about a thousand random thoughts while moping about how you have absolutely no time to study everything, finally succeed in falling asleep, sleep for about 4 hours, repeat.

I never really liked the idea of posting these ‘I’m going to not write my useless posts for about a week or two so please don’t kill yourselves and hurtle through depression because I’ll be back and make a post about being back so we can all celebrate my second coming together’ posts because well I think you get the idea.
By the way, I didn’t really mean that. Dear bloggy frindz, thou shalt not feel offended.

Anyway, I decided to do this one for a multitude of reasons:

1) Blogging tips sites frequently suggest to ‘alert my audience in case of absence‘. I’m really not a youtube star and my fans are not going to freak out if I take a break for a few days and miss posting a video on schedule (I was still referring to youtube stars. The thought of me having fans is so laughable I can not) but still I guess it’d be rude to just suddenly disappear without notice. I for one get worried when some of my fav bloggers seem to *poof*
2) All of you guys seem to do it so it can’t be a bad thing and you wouldn’t judge me for it too much
3) I’m supposed to have finished history, geography and physics chapters in my scheduled revision by now but me being the glorious asshole that I am I decided to write a post instead. I literally just wrote this post in spite of myself, just for self-tortute. Every minute I’m spending writing this is going to cost me and I know it but I’m such a masochist and I feel this inexplicable rebellious spark that keeps telling me to continue writing and wasting time on something that should have taken a maximum of two and a half minutes.

Now I’ll make myself reread this and check for mistakes just because I’m a shitty person.
Great now I’m already too fucking tired to study a word. YAY MORE PRESSURE FOR TOMORROW!

I HATE YOU.
YES YOU.
THE ONE READING THIS RIGHT NOW.
BY RIGHT NOW I MEAN RIGHT. NOW.
THAT’S RIGHT. THE ONE READING THIS WHILE I’M FURIOUSLY TYPING.

See, I couldn’t just say I hate myself, because I hate myself too much for that. Instead I wasted my precious time elaborating a fancy ass way to say it and even more time to explain what I did and oh my God I need to stop before I destroy something and lose what remains of my sanity FUCKING HELL JUST STOP ALREADY

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I also wasted time making this. You get how hateful I am towards myself? It has literally been one full hour since I started writing this and I've lost all faith in everything at this point. I'm ruining everything. Why am I ruining everything.

Lol @ myself

You know that moment when you’re desperately studying for a test and you can just picture yourself so clearly sitting in that exam room tomorrow, staring blankly at your paper, not having any idea what all of these numbers mean?
It’s foreshadowing at its best. I literally am laughing at myself. Oh the level of panic is unreal.

My life has a bipolar disorder.

Yeah. Not me. If life was a function problem, I’d be a constant. What a lame ass maths joke.

But my life would be that squiggly lign thingy that goes up and down and up and around and back down again and then does a backflip and lands on it’s ass and still keeps bumping.

This is so sad it’s almost funny. I’m laughing at myself seriously. What the fuck is wrong with everything? Is everyone drunk and I’m the designated driver? I honestly feel like I am. You might say ‘oh please he’s so full of himself he doesn’t realize he’s the problem’ but I seriously don’t think so (hashtagmodestyhashtag).

I really don’t wanna elaborate and say anything I might regret later (remember the time I bashed a teacher of mine? And then made an ‘apology’ post and ended up shading him even more?) so I’ll stop for now. I know my squiggly line of a life will eventually rise up again but I don’t know when and honestly I’m not even sure if I’m going through a ‘minimum’ right now. This has happened to me way too many times in the past to label it a ‘turning point’.

Ugh. I said I would stop talking and I’m STILL talking. I like to talk. But for now I’m gonna have to shut the hell up, find a way to forget about my ‘pretendue’ misery (hashtagfrenchteacherhashtag) which happened to occur conveniently during the time I need to concentrate the most, and study some damn History and a thousand other subjects for my ‘exams’. I say ‘exams’ because the school won’t admit these are exams so that they don’t give us days off to study, but the content and the procedures are the same. They’re fucking with us. This has to be illegal.

“I’m gonna stop talking” I said. LOL.

UPDATE: This is it. I can’t. No. It’s definitely a ‘minimum’. My mental breakdown is happening. I don’t want this to happen. For the fourth time. Is this a joke?! Definitely not. I can’t think straight. Exams? Who fucking cares?! Why?!?!?! I can’t. I don’t wanna cry. I won’t cry, because it’s useless. I can’t do anything. I’m vulnerable. People realize how vulnerable I am before I did. And now I’ve completely lost control. I hate myself.