Weird Rampage.

It was prom night… Which was weird. We’d just had our prom last week. But that wasn’t the only weird part.

Almost everything about it was weird. The setting, the location, the people, even my friends didn’t seem normal. I mean there was a contest and I won a disco ball lamp. What on earth…

We magically moved to a garden where we watched a random performance I can’t remember. After that, we were supposed to go to the after-prom; for some reason I found myself at a “friends’ house” – which was a building. I’d never been there before, I wasn’t even friends with that person, but somehow I had an idea where that house was located. Okay…

So my friends and I were sitting in the garden, doing nothing noteworthy. Suddenly a gang of gang-looking men arrived and went up to the appartment. One of my friends, Z, desperately wanted to go with them. Was she drunk, were we all drunk? I just remember smiling and nodding at her.

A few minutes later, E followed, and one by one all of my friends did the same. What was weird, the guy whose place we were supposed to be at wasn’t even there at any time. I remained alone in the garden. I tried glancing into the building, but all I saw was a naked man sleeping on the ground floor, so I backed off.

I decided it was time I called my father to come pick me up. For some reason, he sounded quite angry at me, which couldn’t be because of the time because it was barely 1 or 2 in the morning and he’d picked me up at 5 the previous week. I don’t remember how the conversation heated up but I accidentally hung up on him and he didn’t call back to ask for directions to come pick me up. I started worrying. I remember hearing my mom throw in the phrase ‘What’s happening? Did you all really kill that boy?’ I had no idea what she was talking about at all, and figured she’d seen some random news about a gruesome murder and instantly linked it to us, because that’s what moms do.

I went into the building, and entered one of the appartments as if I owned them all. There I saw someone I can’t remember. A while after, a boy and a girl came by, looking like they were at work, carrying grocery bags. I remember the boy coming at me, and me running away…

Next thing I know, it’s morning and I’m standing in the driveway to my house. How did I get here? I had no idea. But I saw my dad’s car wasn’t there, so I figured he still was there trying to pick me up. For some reason I convinced myself I had to go back to that building so that my dad can pick me up and bring me back home – you know, where I already was. I figured I’d try flying, but it didn’t work. I closed my eyes and tried to teleport there, still didn’t work. 

Out of the blue, my English teacher appeared in her car, with the two teenagers from yesterday night. I got in and she gave me a ride to the place. During the ride, we had a relatively sane conversation. She asked me about college and I told her about the full scholarship I’d earned yesterday. Just normal banter, and I payed no mind to the two strangers from yesterday night.

So I arrived at the building. My parents were there. A whole crowd of people as well. Reporters. Law enforcement. As soon as I got there, they all stopped talking then ran at me. The reporters were hurling question after question. The police were seizing me. My mom was crying, and showing me an online article: “teenager breaks in, murders two infant boys”. What did that have to do with me?!

Then they showed me a video. It was me. I was standing above a crib, looking completely unconscious, smiling like I’ve never seen myself smile before, babytalking two newborns in their cribs. Slowly, my hands locked around their throats and started choking them. 

I could not believe what was happening. WHEN did that happen? HOW did that happen? I specifically remember not having anything to drink during prom, or after. Was there a chance I got caught and was drugged after I tried running away? That would explain my attempts to fly… But how the hell did I get home then? Nothing made sense.

Only one thing did. It was that concrete, incriminating proof was already out in the world and that I had no control over it. That was going to ruin my life forever. I immediately thought of my newly earned scholarship that I would have to wave goodbye to…

And that was enough to finally wake me up.

Advertisements

Breathe.

Do you ever take a moment to notice yourself breathing?

It happens on the spur of the moment, so randomly, and even pleasantly. I’d take notice of my own breathing. Right now, for example. Inhale. Type. Exhale. Think. Repeat. And I can’t fathom that I do this all. the. time. 

When it happens, all my focus shifts to that little phenomenon, as if I was witnessing a true natural anomaly. No matter how hard I try, I can never move my attention away from it, and everything I attempt to do to distract myself from this weird mantra fails to work. I always end up going back to thinking about breathing. And I always end up forgetting about it after all, one way or another, as with virtually all other things in life. 

I suppose that goes to prove that our minds truly have no guidelines. You can not force yourself to not think about something – at the end of the day, trying not to think about a thing still puts that specific thing in the limelight. It’s a simple, well known fact, yet that doesn’t stop us from always trying to steer our thoughts to or away from a certain thing, because really, what else can we attempt to do?

Breathing is just one of our core essentials. It’s not a sense, that some people might miss, but still lead somewhat normal lives. You don’t breathe, you don’t live. Period.

And goodness, how it feels good under the right circumstances. As with all things in life, you never notice what you have until you don’t.

Don’t you just miss breathing when you’re underwater for too long? When you press your nose against a pillow?  When you have a cold and your airways are ridden with obstructions? When you have to endure a trip to a public bathroom? When you’re stuck in the smoker’s section of a restaurant? When that moment comes, at last, to deeply inhale…

And can we just talk about breathing fresh air? This does not get as much recognition as it should. It’s often casually thrown into conversations, meaning that something is a welcome change of pace, or that someone is having time off. But just how satisfying is it to open the window of a musky room, stick your nose outside and just breathe? It’s a feeling of which I have a hard time pinpointing the origin. Is it the nose? The lungs? And if so, how can I feel my lungs? Is it my entire body? Cold, crispy, oxygen-rich air just feels so good. I have lived in a countryside village for a quarter of my life, and the difference is striking. 

Fresh air has become a luxury.

There she stood.

There she stood. Dressed in white, so white, it turned the world black. The road was empty, the lights were out, yet there she stood. They said Earth was a fleck of dust, lost somewhere on the shores of the Universe. Yet they said the Universe was limitless, with no beginning and no end. It had no center; or perhaps, it had endless centers.

So there she stood, center of the Universe. She smiled for a second. She felt special. Then it faded and she hated herself again. And she hated herself and she hated herself, and she hated herself for hating herself. And she felt special again, because she did not feel special, and girls like her felt special for hating themselves. 
Yet I saw her, and she was still center of the Universe. The brightest stars and the vastest galaxies were nothing more than freckles on her face. I looked at her, and the complexity of it all felt so simple. 

She was only free when she was alone. And her loneliness enslaved her. She loved music, she said. Deep down, she knew she loved the music that made her feel special. There she stood, and the whole world fell silent as melodies she imagined blared in her head. She stared at nothing so intently, that nothing became the only thing she knew, a fiery eruption of visions she pictured so vividly they became her reality. Her only wish was that the whole world could hear those melodies with her, see what she was seeing, experience what her mind was envisioning. But she was content with it being her own little personal paradise. Or so she told herself.

There she stood, feeling stupid, and invincible. She did not care. She couldn’t care, or else she wouldn’t be standing there, in the center of the Universe. She despised the thought of being a stereotypical middle-of-the-highway-dressed-in-a-white-shade-of-black-looking-dazed-and-oozing-artificial-melancholia girl, and she knew that was her reality. And still she wanted to feel special, and still she hated it. And she was alone, and she was free, and she couldn’t escape being alone, and she was trapped again.

She looked at me, and she laughed, and my eyes widened. Did she just look at me? How can she see me? She can’t see me. I see her. She’s dressed in white, standing in the middle of the highway and that so-called center of the Universe, and she’s alone. How can she see me? I thought she was the only thing that existed. 

And she kept laughing.

How I Chose My Future.

I’m sitting in my bed at night, trying to think of new ways to procrastinate, and suddenly sharing this news with you struck me as something I urgently needed to do.

I’ve got Ultraviolence on and I’m ready to tell the story of how I took a step into figuring out my future.

So last year, around this time, I finally stumbled upon a profession that I felt fit me. 

Architecture. Artistic, but still a usual and respected profession. “What do you want to be? An architect”, and that ended the conversation. No questions. An expected career for a top student.

Fuck it. Honestly. Fuck being a top student, for all the good it has done me. It singled me out as a ‘nerd’ for years, only because I had better grades than everyone else. Put a ton of pressure on me to stay up to par with my standard grades, and set my parents’ expectations to staggering heights. Made me force myself into picking a profession I thought ‘complemented’ my ‘intelligence’, as if intelligence equals science.

So there I was, telling everyone I finally found what I wanted to do with my life, telling myself that I made the right decision. I mean I get to draw buildings for people and be creative! No matter that I know absolutely nothing about drawing and have no talent in it whatsoever! Right?

Wrong. I was constantly convincing myself that it was alright, reading testimonies from people reassuring us that knowing how to draw is not essential to being an architect but ‘it helps’, trying to imagine myself working in an architecture firm and enjoying it somehow.

I elaborated this smart reply to every question:

‘What do you want to do?’

‘What do I want or what I will do? I want to study literature, but of course that’s not an option, so I’ll do architecture because it seems like something I’d not hate a lot.’

Why I was brushing off literature? Well our education system divides students into 4 categories: Math-oriented, Biology-oriented, Economics-oriented and Literature-oriented. Or as our society classes them, the Genius class, the Doctors class, the Lazy class and the Weird class. My grades obligated me to pick one of the two former. Why waste my intelligence on literature? 

That’s why I went with the Math section, and brushed off any thought of literature studies, even though I had one passion in life and that was reading. What happened to ‘doing what I love’? That meant nothing. Society says I must be an Engineer, or a Physicist, or a Mathematician. Literature? Leave it to those who can’t do math.

And now, having almost completed my General Science year, I can affirm that the most times I had to actually think and use my intelligence was during literature tests. 

I swear to God, anyone can do math. Anyone can do physics. Not anyone can read a text and understand and analyze it correctly. That’s rare intelligence.

But I am glad I did what I did. I am proud of my choices so far. I couldn’t be prouder. General Science was a bore and a pain in the ass, but it eventually helped me see clearly what it is I had to do.

It happened in the middle of this school year, during our mid year exams. It was sunday morning, a day before our Chemistry test, and I found I had not written almost half of our course. I texted my friends and asked them to send me what I was missing. Never in a million years would I have guessed that in that moment, I had also asked them to tell me what I was going to study in college.

‘Why haven’t you written any of this?’

‘I’ve been absent.’

‘Why have you been skipping school so often? Do you think you’re better than the rest of us? We really don’t enjoy school either but we don’t just stay home whenever we feel like it.’

‘Save your sermons. Does it look like I care anymore about fucking school?’

‘And why is that?’

‘Because I’m going to spend years studying something I really don’t fucking have a clue about, and my life is probably going to end up screwed.’

‘Whow. Where is this coming from? You don’t want architecture?’

‘I don’t know what I want.’

‘Just do what you love doing.’

‘Easy for you to say. You love technology. Your options and endless. I love books, what am I supposed to do with that?’

‘I don’t know, be an editor or something.’

Editor. Editor.

Has it ever happened to you? Have you ever read a single word that ended up changing everything, turning your whole life path 180 degrees?  

That word alone, thrown nonchalantly, was enough to open my eyes. It might seem too straightforward to be believable, but that’s how it happened. 

Do what I love. What do I love? I love writing. What do I love more than writing? Correcting people’s writing. That’s an actual profession. Studying literature is not just an abstract thing. I can actually do something with my life that I can enjoy.

And if my disastrous experience as a bartender this summer taught me anything, it’s that doing a job I do not enjoy is not worth any salary in the world. I made a vow to myself, that I’d never work unless I was satisfied, and here I am, fulfilling my vow. 

‘Editor. Yes. That’s what I’m going to do. Oh my God.’

‘Okay so maybe not editor but there are lots of things you could do!’ He thought I was being sarcastic.

In truth, I was standing there, in the middle of my room, eyes wide open and staring into nothing, thinking. This is not a far fetched theory. This is real. This actually could happen. This is not a joke. This is my future. This is NOT a joke. This is a REAL solution. WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING ALL THIS TIME? WHY DID IT TAKE ME SO LONG TO REALIZE? 

Writing this right now, I’m thinking of ways to word this that will not make me sound like an idiot. But the truth is that I really was an idiot. I made myself renounce doing what I wanted to do, and for what reason? Literally, what reason? I was torturing myself over nothing. Nothing. All it took was a single word, and here I was, reevaluating my entire future. 

I had my reasons to go with General Science. But after that, it’s just me, and my school grades will stay marked on some report card in the confines of my documents. After that, every move bears consequences. I was inches away from making myself go into a field I had no business being in. And just like that, I decided it would be Literature after all. There really are no valid reasons I hadn’t even considered that until that moment.

I honestly feel like laughing at myself. Nobody does what I did. I was just so stupid it’s hilarious. Writing it down makes it feel so, so much more obvious. 

Yep. Just like that. I decided I was going to be an English major! It happened in a matter of hours, and my whole life lit up. I was in bliss. I could not care less about the Chemistry test, or any tests. I was going to do what I wanted. I was going to read for a living. I was going to have time to do the things I love doing, including blogging, which you *may* have noticed I have been seriously behind with.

I told my parents that evening that I was going to change direction. They were pretty shocked, but nevertheless encouraged me and sensed how happy it made me.

The next day, I went to the college I had applied to and changed my major from Architecture to English. I expectedly got pretty surprised looks, like they couldn’t believe someone with 780 on their Math SAT was going to study English (like the fact I got 730 on the English section did not matter). But they also encouraged me saying I had made a good choice, as tons of people were going with Architecture and Engineering and soon there would be no jobs left for them. I was so satisfied.

And now, every time someone asks me what I would do with my future, I put on a broad, honest smile and proudly tell them I am going to study literature. They ask questions, and I happily reply ‘that’s what I love to do’. 

I’m still not used to the idea. Every time I feel down, I recite it to myself like a mantra: I’m an English major. I’m going to do what I love.

You changed.

You are not who you once were. 

And that’s what I love about you.

Truthwitch Book Tag

OH MY GOD I HAVEN’T DONE A TAG OR CHALLENGE IN LITERALLY LIKE A YEAR

HEEERE WE GOOO 

*ayo starts playing*

Ohrin Mountains- What is your favourite fictional land?

Westeros. If you read my last post you know I’ve been obsessing over Game of Thrones lately, and IT’S JUST SO INTERESTING EVEN THO THIS IS CHEATING BC I ONLY WATCHED THE SERIES BUT THEY ARE BOOKS SO 

Safiya and Iseult’s Friendship- Who is your favourite dynamic duo?

Is this really a question? Who else?

Merik- Which character is the ultimate hunk?

Four, from Divergent. Tris’ vajayjay always semeed to explode around him. Same goes for the fangirls over Theo James.

Kullen- Who is your favourite sidekick?

A tough one… Sidekicks are a tricky business. I would say the Colonel, Miles’ sidekick in Looking for Alaska, was pretty cool.

Aeduan- Who is your favourite mysterious or villainous character?

Jaqen  H’gar from Game of Thrones. I still have no idea just what he is. GoT in general is full of mysterious characters that I’m really excited to dive into as I read the books.

Aether- A book that you can’t stop thinking about?

Back when I read 13 Reasons Why, it clung to my mind for days and days. To be truthful, I don’t remember much of the actual story, I just remember the emotions it sent me through. The TV show is coming out soon and I can’t wait to rediscover the story.

Air- A book that you had low expectations for that completely blew you away?

I have to say Game of Thrones again! I resisted reading this book for ages. My best friend tried to force me but I just could not swallow it. But I gave the show a try, and I was BLOWN. AWAY. And I’m still obsessing over this masterpiece. I’m currently reading and thoroughly enjoying the first book!

Earth- A book that you always go back to?

I’m pretty sure this one’s universal – Harry Goddayum Potter. It feels like more people have reread the books than those who have read it only once. 

Fire- A book where the hype spread quickly?

I’ve never heard of a book that got more hype in recent years than Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. Many loved it, many hated it, but everyone was talking about it. It was the sequel to a literary phenomenon.

Void- Recommend a scary/mysterious read.

Robert Galbraith’s Cormoran Strike series. (A.K.A J.K. Rowling’s under cover follow up series to Harry Potter). I can only vouch for the first book, the Cuckoo’s Calling, but I’m certain the follow up books are equally as dark, funny, intriguing, creepy, clever and mysterious as this one. It’s such a departure from the magical saga, but it’s no less captivating. A good mystery is one where you find yourself interested in the backstories, not just the identity of the murderer. 

Water- Name a book that flowed nicely.

I can’t remember a book flowing as nice as the Philosopher’s stone. There are just no dead moments. Everything was interesting. We didn’t have a prior idea of where the story might take us. There was a steady buildup of events leading up to the ultimate face off. It really is such a well written book. Children literature was SHOOK.

Threadsisters and Threadbrothers- Tag your friends!

I don’t have the nerve to tag anybody since I haven’t been blogging for a long while. Anyone who comes through this, please feel free to do the tag and consider yourself nominated (like I did)!

I have some pretty exciting updates. Really can’t wait to share them 😀 hopefully see you soon!

Game of Thrones SLAYSSSS

LITERALLY

SO 

MUCH

My best friend had been convincing me to start the series for years, but I just couldn’t imagine myself liking a story about swords and wars.

I started season 1 before christmas break… Now I’m at season 5.

IT’S JUST SO EPIC! THERE’S NO BETTER WORD. The story is amazing, suspenseful, engaging, it takes your breath away and keeps you on edge, that’s just something I hadn’t found ever since I first read Harry Potter years ago! 

Everything about this series is breathtaking. Everything. The production is the best I’ve ever seen. ALL the actors play their roles to PERFECTION. The soundtrack is flawless. Like honestly how is humanity capable of such a feat?

I’ve been curious about this series for years and I finally get to experience its greatness. I’m SO glad I waited for now, it really feels like a great timing. I may not have fully understood it had I started watching it years ago. 

This may be the first time I ever watched something before its book. I feel like by doing this I’m betraying everything I’ve ever stood for, but cut me some slack. The book series would take me ages, what with senior year and college coming soon; I simply would’ve lost interest (I did try to read the first book but failed miserably).

The thing is that before I finish season 6, I could find a spoiler in the most unexpected of places (and I already have, I know 2 of the most important events that happen in the series during season 5 and 6. It sucks but what can I do). So I’m being VEEERY careful as to what I see online. On the bright side, I just have a dozen of episodes left and then I’ll join the rest of the world waiting for season 7!

AHH it felt good to write this post. I just didn’t feel like writing a sappy oh-ma-gash-I-been-away-4-so-long-sorry-guyz like I’ve done this a thousand times. I’m lucky if this post even still gets read.

So yeah, life has been extremely busy, I’m actually in the process of completing my college application and I’m working on my essay. This is crazy. When I started blogging, college was a thousand years away… Ah life. Constantly surprising us.

I hope I’ll be able to write more, now that I got a new phone with a screen that isn’t snapped in half and an actual working keyboard. 

I just miss this so much.

Valar Dohaeris.

Going to snatch some books!

So, WHOOW
There’s a book sale today (the infamous Bookyard I’ve talked about like 100 times here) and I’m about to go and see what I can find! Super excited.
I’ll fill you in with a bookhaul in a few hours!
Also YAAAAASSSSSS THE NEXT FOUR DAYS ARE SCHOOL FREE WOOOOOOOOOO
Bbyee

iReview: Joanne – Lady Gaga

Okay. Hi.

You know what I’ll just skip the ramblings to the end of this post, because 1) I’ll be boring off half of my potential readers and 2) I’m too lazy to even begin writing them tbh. Oh and 3) we have an emergency on our hands and it is that LADY FUCKING GAGA HAS JUST RELEASED HER FIRST POP ALBUM SINCE 2013, A DAY I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR SINCE WELL 2013. All the anticipation has built up to this point, and I can not be more ready. FUN FACT: last year in April, I opened my diary at a random page and marked it down, saying THIS is when I will hear LG5. That day was October 22^nd. Ladies and gentlemen, I am a psychic. I honestly, HONESTLY still don’t believe this day has come.

HIT ME WITH ‘EM, GAGA.

In this post, I will be doing a track-by-track review/reaction to Lady Gaga’s newest studio album, Joanne, out October 21^st. Its title references Gaga’s middle name, and her late aunt who passed away in 1974 because of lupus after she had been sexually assaulted. This is Gaga’s most stripped back, personal album yet, according to her.

So…

HEEEEERE WE GO! (yes yes I have heard A-YO already.)

1- Diamond Heart:

Let’s go omfg

Is this a piano?

YOUNG WILD AMERICAN ALREADY ICONIC

YYYYYAAAAAAAAASSSSSS GOGO’IN go back to those roots Gags

Asshole broke her in? Rape?..

THAT HOOK

IM SHOOK

YOUUUUUNG WIL AMERICAAAAAAAAAN I KNEW ITS ICONIC

Wait Diamond Heart isn’t about her engagement ring? Right…

Can we talk about her vocals? Where do you hear vocals like these on any female album these days. SH00K

YAAAASSSS BRIDGE

I always said I hate guitar+drums driven songs but this is FUCKING GOOD

Maybe because it’s Gaga and I’m biased but YES

Amazing way to start the album.

2- A-YO:

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa we go

Blow it ur face

Blow it in ur face

Blow it in ur blow it in ur face

This is so FUN. YES.

The beat sounds familiar but in the good way.

AYO AYO

WE SMOKIN EM ALL

A.k.a the Chainsmokers who had shit to say about her in the press. What’s good? She ended those rats. Anyway.

You can’t NOT dance to this song! My body is involuntarily shaking.

SLAYO SLAYOH

A

YO

AYO

This is a BOP.

3-Joanne:

Okay… I did not expect these ‘drumsies’.

Wait where is the piano? THIS IS NOT WHAT I SIGNED UP FOR

Why is this melody so… Uplifting? Her aunt just died.

Girl… Where do you think you’re goin’? (with this melody)

This sounds… Off. It’s a song about her aunt who died… It should feel sadder. It made people cry. Why am I not crying? I’M HERE TO CRY.

The chorus is really beautiful though, no question.

Alright, the more I listen to this song… I get it. The emotion is ‘implicit’. Her vocal delivery was done in one take according to her. I can feel her pain.

I need to give her a hug.

 

4- John Wayne:

BYE BYE HUG

HELLO JOHN WAYNE (btw notice how it sounds like ‘Joanne’ ‘John Wayne’ is this intentional?)

THAT SCREAMMM YASS MAMA

GO FASTER

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

I DID NOT SEE THAT CHORUS COMING

OH NO OH NO

ITS HAPPENING

MY WEAVE IS BEING SNATCHED

EVERY FOLLICLE

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS THE CHORUS AGAIN I STILL HAVENT RECOVERED FROM THE FIRST TIME

Hands down my favorite so far.

I WAS NOT READY FOR THIS BRIDGE

NO

UGHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS FEELS LIKE A MOVIE CLIMAX

I want to scream JOHN WAYNE with her but my parents are sleeping so

Please hire this producer for the entirety of the next album

5- Dancin’ In Circles:

WHAT

WHAT IS THIS

WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO HIT ME WITH THIS FAME MONSTER THROWBACK??a!?!??qSJHA

This feels like a Sia song. I LOVE A SIA SONG.

The prechorus! Amazing.

YES THE HOOK AGAIN

LET’S FUNK DOWNTOWN

Am I the only one who feels like these songs are going way too fast? Like I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO PROCESS THE SLAYAGE

Gaga thank you for this So Happy I Could Die 2.0 yes thanks yes

Vanish as I touch myself? THAT CUTESY VOICE FAMEGA IT IS REALLY YOU

OOOOOOHHHHH THE FUCKING HIGH NOTES AT THE END

SSSSSSHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

This is such a dancey song. I LIVE.

6- Perfect Illusion:

AND HERE COME THE GUITAR RIFFS

AAAAEEIINWWHHHH

One month later and this song is still amazing. Of course you’d know that if I fucking UPDATED MY BLOG THEN but oh well.

IT WASN’T LAAAAAAAAAAAAHV

IT WASN’T LAAAAAAAAAAAAHV

IT WAS A PERFECT ILLUSION

Like some people actually don’t like this.

HOW.

BE ASHAMED.

And now the part with the background vocals that slay the entire universe

IN A MODERN ECSTASY

Her vocals are just UGH. I remember when I heard this the first time when it was released and how amazed I was.

GAGA

IS

BACK.

AND HERE COMES THE KEYCHANGE OF THE CENTURYYYYYYYYYY

And my favorite part: *dumdumdumdumdum* IILLLUUSIOOOOOONNNN

Still slays. Ugh.

7-Million Reasons:

Another one I have already heard a lot, and memorized.

Can we just appreciate this stripped back Gaga? We all asked for it. She might not be here for long so enjoy ha while she lasts.

The emotion in her voice is breathtaking. And that chorus hits you like one of her 5 vintage cars.

The best thing about this song for me is how I can sing the background vocals with her. I love background vocals. I feel special when I sing them. No I cannot explain this.

STAAAAAAAAYAHAAAAAAAAAAAAYAAAAAAAHAAAAY

Breaks my heart to her her crying out like this. I’LL MEND UR BROKEN HEART MOM

Her voice…

Her fucking voice.

8- Sinners’ Prayer:

Lol sounds like Dangerous Woman is about to start

BUT THIS AINT NO DANGEROUS WOMAN

IT’S A DANGEROUSLY SLAYFUL BASSLINE

YES. I LIVE.

The vibe of this song is so captivating.

THE CHORUS. Can we just appreciate the chorus? WOW. It takes you on a ride in a few seconds. The melody changes from cheerful to somber back to hopeful then again to dark IN A MATTER OF SECONDS.

WOW

I am so impressed with this. And some people dismissed it as a ‘country song’.

Man, this album may just make me listen to country.

‘I can carry you but not your ghosts’. Tumblr here we come

YESSSS GO UP THAT OCTAVE

Goodasgoodasgoodasgoodasgoooooooooooooooooooooooooooold

Beautiful song.

And this BASSLINE AGAIN. YES.

9- Come To Mama:

Okay the title already has me shook.

YES BORN THIS WAY TEAS LYRICSWISE

Wait what jungle? Gags wyd

Gogogogggoround

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS MAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

COME TO MAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

YES THE BACKGROUND VOCALS IN THE CHORUS

Comeontomammma

Commonmmaammmaaaa

Wow. WOW. The lyrics though!

She’s talking about a scientist vs. a believer… The scientist = uses prism in physics. The believer = he believes in Noah’s arc (not really though but okay). But both result in… Rainbows! YES GAGAAAAAAAAA

THIS SONG IS SO MARIAH CAREY

HOLIDAYSY

AND I LOVE IT

Wait 3 verses?

THE ONLY PRISONS THAT EXIST ARE ONES WE PUT EACH OTHER IN

TAKE THAT TUMBLR. QUOTE THE SHIT OUT OF IT.

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HER VOCALS

LOOK WHAT THAT RAINBOW DID

The ending. This IS Mariah Carey ugh YES

IM COMING MAMA

10- Hey Girl (featuring Florence Welsh):

3 SECONDS IN AND IM MOVING LIKE A CHARMED SNAKE

THIS BEAT. THIS BEAAAAAAAT

OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

FLORENCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

HER VOCALS ARE AMAZING AS ALWAYS

FIT SO BEAUTIFULLY WITH THIS SONG I CANT IM SHOOK SO SHOOK YESSS SHOOK

Their voices go so well together!

AND THIS FUCKING MELODY IT PUTS ME IN A TRANCE WOW JUST WOW I CANT STOP SWAYING

Personal thank you to Florence who probably is responsible for the amazing harps in this.

Does anyone notice the amazing strange synths in the background?!

Yep in the second chorus they are more than noticeable.

ARE THEY SINGING TOGETHER?!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

OH MY GOD FLORENCE’S BACKGROUND VOCALS OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD SHE SOUNDS OTHERWORDLY

This fucking song. The melody. The production. The message. The two FUCKING BADASSES SINGING IT.

THE BACKGROUND FORENCE OH’S ONCE AGAIN AHHHH

Iconic.

11- Angel Down:

And here come the emotions. This is about Trayvon Martin.

Yep. The intro alone is amazing.

WOW HER VOICE. IT SOUNDS LIKE SHE’S WHISPERING MY EAR.

I need a moment. I’m in awe.

Okay. Who produced this? I love you.

The lyrics are so touching. With that production, man I feel like going on a midnight walk and crying.

The chorus is unexpected. The sounds are angelic. This is not your regular ballad. This is much more.

GAGA GOES LANA. I’M SO HERE FOR IT. OOOHOOOHOOOO

OHHH ‘CHAOS’! CHAOS ANGEL! THESE WERE NOT RUMORS! OMG

Wow. What just happened?

The outro… it’s like a broken music box… I love this so fucking much.

WHOW THERE IT JUST ENDED SO ABRUPTLY.

Is it like a metaphor to sudden death?

Oh Joanne…

12- Grigio Girls:

This is the song about her best friend Sonja having cancer… here it goes.

Wait she’s that much older? 12 years? She looks much younger…

Okay… I kind of expected a bigger chorus…

The production sounds like it’s struggling to pick up. A shame. The lyrics are beautiful.

Watch your blues turn gold…

Make it all make sense…

Yep here are the feels.

AWWWWWWW SHE IS SO CUTE IN THAT BRIDGE

YAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSS THE SQUAD IS HEREEEEEEEEEE

Why do they sound like they have swallowed helium?

Lol of course Gaga had to outsing them all.

SQUAD GOALZZZZZZZ

Okay there’s a laugh at the end that is just creepy as fuck.

13- Just Another Day:

Yes this is the one I heard her sing live on the radio!

BACK TO HER RED AND BLUE ROOTS AND I’M SO SURPRISED I LOVE IT SO MUCH! YES!

This song is just so cute oh my god!

And after all… it’s just another day!

Okay tho but is that like a sax, a guitar, a synth, a dying cockroach…

YESSSSSSS BRIAN’S TRUMPETS SOUND SO GREAT

I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH YAS GAGA VOCALS MAMA

I can just imagine her smiling and singing this in her studio. She’s happy. I’m happy.

14- Angel Down (Work Tape):

Oh, a more stripped down piano/guitar version. I like that! I wish there was one for Joanne.

I confess I like the original better, the production really adds to it.

BUT.

VO

FUCKING

CALS.

SHE SOUNDS LITERALLY LIKE THE MOTHER OF ANGELS CRYING OUT FOR HER ANGELS.

When did she record this? She sounds different than how she did the rest of the album… so RAW. So PASSIONATE.

THOSE SCREAMS. I’d rather save an angel down.

And… it’s over.

_

Wow.

This was what I call a fucking EXPEDITION.

The opening track couldn’t have set the tone better.

The title track felt anticlimactic at first, but it gets catchier, deeper and more meaningful with each listen.

Then it’s a string off amazing fun bops to dance to before Gaga hits us with the more ‘serious’ stuff.

The world is full of deceptions, things you never knew would turn out to just be illusions.

The world is full of people who will drive you insane, but who you can’t get away from.

The world is full of hatred and ignorance, humans who are destroying each other and themselves over their clash of ideas.

The world is full of women who are willing to step on each other to reach their wants, in a world still ruled by men, instead of helping each other up.

The world is full of innocent people who are dying every single day because of political agendas and inequality.

And we all just stand around.

This album was something I’ve been waiting to hear for eternity. And I’m finally blessed to do so. I’d never have expected something so powerful and deep from Gaga. She outdid herself, she surprised me and many, many others. It’s truly one of the highlights of her career. She has worked so hard to get here, and seeing her finally make the music SHE wants to make, is more than what I could ever ask for.

I’m in love with this music. Thank you, Gaga. Keep doing what you do.

Joanne is extremely proud of you.

Score: 9.5/10

_________________________________________________________________

Okay, so time for the promised ramblings. I have been beating myself up for not updating my blog for the past few months. The longer it went, the more urgent a ‘comeback’ felt, and the more hard it seemed to be to make. I couldn’t just turn up out of the blue uninvited and I couldn’t stay away like I never said goodbye (yes I know these are not the right lyrics but it had to fit the situation I’m talking about okay?). It had to be something BIG. HUGE. AND LET’S BE HONEST. IT DOESN’T GET HUGER THAN THIS.

I’m truly feeling bad about abandoning this blog with no notice like that. I want to write a second post explaining everything but I just *know* I’ll slack off and not do it. So I’ll try to put it all in here. After I quit my summer job, I spent one AMAZING month, and I was preparing for Blogwarts. Then I got caught up in it, and school started, my FINAL YEAR OF HIGHSCHOOL BEFORE COLLEGE ASDFGHJKL SO YEAH I’m overswamped with work, and that’s apart from extracurricular things like piano lessons and choir practice. Random thought, I really need to start working out tbh, I can’t keep feeling depressed every time I see a naked torso. So yeah.

I WANT TO BE BACK HERE SO BAD I MISS YOU ALL SO FUCKING MUCH. But I’m even slacking off my school work, what about this blog lololololol

Maybe I’ll start slacking off my school work with this blog? I HOPE SO! At least that’d be productive.

Okay, Goodnight! I have to listen to Mariah Carey’s earlier stuff, man where have I been she slayz. BuhByE

SECOND TASK – BLOGGERS’ HOUSE CUP

 

SECOND TASK: SCAVENGER HUNT

This task is going to be a classic good ol’ SCAVENGER HUNT! Very simple: you have to find all the items on the list, photograph them and post them on your house forums. BUT REMEMBER – AND THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT – IN EVERY PICTURE SHOULD BE INCLUDED A SMALL PIECE OF PAPER WITH YOUR HOUSE NAME ON IT, SO WE KNOW YOU TOOK THE PHOTO. A PHOTO WITHOUT ‘PROOF’ WON’T BE COUNTED. Recording videos, if you see it’s necessary, is acceptable as well. You can upload the photos here if you don’t know how to: postimage.org . Here is the  list of items:

1. The complete Harry Potter saga (bonus points for having Quidditch TTA, Tales of Beedle the Bard, Fantastic Beasts, and Cursed Child)

2. A nice ribbon

3. A can of coca cola

4. A destroyed cake

5. An air conditionner

6. A childhood game

7. Your favorite TV show on

8. Merchandise from your favorite artist/band (bonus points for every different artist/band)

9. A road sign

10. A bird

11. A plane

12. Superman

13. The moon

14. The oldest email in your inbox

15. A dated magazine
16. Disgusting food

17. Something offensive
18. A multicolored dress (bonus points for wearing it with a multicolored hat)

19. ‘Page 394’ of the book where this expression figures

20. Hershey’s chocolate bar
21. A laughing child (many bonus points if you can fit a crying child in the frame)
22. A Lady Gaga album (bonus points for every extra album)
23. A beautiful painting
24. Your country’s traditional dish (bonus points for different dishes from different players/countries)
25. A hotel

26. Something scary (bonus points for the house with the scariest entry)

27. A birthday card

28. A hairnet

29. An old pair of shoes
30. Your sibling’s hair

31. An elevator

32. A uniform (bonus points if the uniform has your house colors)

33. Something you hate (bonus points for the entry I also hate the most)

34. Your favorite book

35. A forest

36. The view from your window

37. Your pet (bonus points for every extra pet)

38. Grafitti

39. A statue

40. Public restrooms

41. Plastic cups

42. Little ball of fur (huge bonus points if you can get the picture of the title of the song where this lyric figures. Hint: the song comes from a show whose title strongly correlates with the item you have to find next. NB: say the song title is ‘Wooden Chair’, you have to photograph a wooden chair, not a paper where ‘Wooden Chair’ is written).

43. Something explosive

44. A gold necklace

45. 10 water balloons (huge bonus points if you include a video of you throwing them at someone)

46. A set of teeth

47. A collection of things (anything you’ve been collecting) (bonus points for the most interesting collection)

48. A written page from your diary

49. A mirror

50. An outfit with your house colors (bonus points for the best outfit).

51. The Lebanese flag

52. Miranda Sings-like lips

53. A musical instrument (bonus points for every extra instrument)

54. A portrait

55. A french book

56. An alarm clock

57. Fire

58. Something that makes you cry

59. Gold

60. A half-finished puzzle

61. A root beer (bonus points for every extra can)

62. A tree root

63. Groot

64. This number’s square root

You will have 6 days to submit your entry.

Points will be distributed as such:

1st Place: 64 points

2nd Place: 56 points

3rd Place: 48 points

4th Place: 40 points

DEADLINE: SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 25TH, 11:59 PM EST.

ANY HOUSE THAT FAILS TO SUBMIT BEFORE THE DEADLINE WILL HAVE ITS TASK POINTS REDUCED BY HALF, REGARDLESS OF POSITION.

ANY HOUSE THAT FAILS TO SUBMIT IN TWO DAYS’ TIME WILL BE DISQUALIFIED FROM THE TASK.

REMINDER: ALL PLAYERS ARE REQUIRED TO REGISTER TO BLOGWARTS BOARDS!

If you haven’t already, make sure to:

1. Visit blogwarts.boards.net,

   Register to the forum,

2. Go to the Welcome thread,

3. Follow the links to your House Common Rooms,

4. Register A SECOND, SEPARATE registration to your House forum,

5. Wait to be approved and start taking part in the task.

BLOGWARTS STUDENTS:

Tara – GRYFFINDRAFT HEAD OF HOUSE

L – GRYFFINDRAFT PREFECT

AnnonymousBlog

Shivani.

thchicwithbluehair

thewondrouslifeofalliem

Chloe Lauren

Zoe2600

Gretaawhitaaker

Eve @ Twist in the Taile

ImaginaryplacesonpaperImaginaryplacesonpaper

LittleBlog

hallsofivy

Briana

itsabunthing

Zada

aprmcl

Zyphira

InkpenDaisy

Tanya Sahay

Rants, Raves and Rambles

Keira – RAVENCLICK HEAD OF HOUSE

Luna – RAVENCLICK PREFECT

I Am Donovan

Selfie

Oy30

Aspen

Plethoricate

Jessica

Wanderlust77

Em Is Lost

Sav.the.lion

BooksAnBlabber

Bogorm333

itsjustjudie

amzyinthemiddle

everydayblogger101

littlegingee

Cheyenne Raphael

FashionableFables

DayDreaming Books

Lia

Bookwormgirls123 – HUFFLEPOST HEAD OF HOUSE

Elm – HUFFLEPOST PREFECT

mahjabeen

Lucia R

Farah Edz

MyCrazyObsession

Bella

Genesisthe1st

3liittlebirds

tryingtosimplybe

Elly

TeenageNomadBlog

Bibliophile

ilovemylife

devgunawidjaja

crystalclexr

Lainey

fictionalwritingsandi

Stuti Sood

Silviya

JagsOnline

Flavia – SLIKERIN HEAD OF HOUSE

Melanie – SLIKERIN PREFECT

Iridescence

Ayuhcircus

Trisha Malone

Zimi

JustAverageTeenMe

Kitty

Annabeth

Anonymousteenageblogger

Addlepates

Lifeofaninspiredteen

Allyrocs24

writingpenguinblog

EmilyBecca

Flavia

ozbooksnail

pandaheartsbooks

Julie

Teenella

IF YOU APPLIED BUT YOUR NAME DOESN’T FIGURE HERE, LET ME KNOW IN THE COMMENTS!

FOR ANY NEWCOMERS WISHING TO JOIN THE GAME, PLEASE COMMENT BELOW.

GOOD LUCK, HAVE FUN AND MAY THE MAGIC LIVE ON!