i was just up, thinking about him. as i always do.

and i prayed for the first time in forever. i prayed to God for it to get better. 

and suddenly, i thought about you. i thought about how beautiful you were, and thought i’d let you know.

i found you here for me. we had one of those short, sweet 3 AM conversations, and now i’m going to sleep with a smile on my lips.

i realize now why i don’t think about you. it’s because i don’t have to. it’s because i can talk to you, and not the twisted version of you that lives in my brain. it’s because you’d never make me feel like i needed to calculate what i’d say to you, or how you’d make me feel if i let you know exactly how i felt. and i’m scared i might let you down, but i know you’re scared you might let me down too, and somehow that’s all that matters.

Just say it already!

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