A Post From My Past Self

My past self is speaking… And it wants to tell you something.

My past self is saying… You are all being trolled. There is no past self. This is not a dramatic post.

Well technically I’m not lying – this is my past self talking. You see, my internet connection has sadly passed away recently and I’m offline but I CAN’T NOT FREAK OUT ABOUT MY EXAMS BEING OVER so I’ll just write this and post it when I get the chance. So when you read this… It’ll be my past self talking!

Oh but wait. Isn’t everything you read written by somebody’s past self?

And I thought I was being clever. Silly me.

Aaaaanyway, OMFG YAS MY EXAMS ARE OVAAAAAA

AFTER ALL THESE YEARS MONTHS WEEKS

I AM SO HAPPY EVEN THOUGH I DID TERRIBLE IN MATH but good in the rest so oh well.

I feel you deserve a compte-rendu of all my exams. Joking, of course you don’t, I just want to give you a compte-rendu because I’m that generous. Joking again, I actually just really like writing compte-rendus. And writing the word “compte-rendu” too. Fun!

Chemistry: first exam! I went in being eaten by nerves. I knew the first exercice. Then I didn’t know the second. Then I looked over the whole test and almost fainted because I saw so many stuff I had no idea about what they meant. I decided to skip the second exercice, and do what I know. So yeah I ended up completing all the exercices (I always freak out over nothing). I came back to the second exercice and in my THRILL about knowing how to solve the first question I FUCKING FORGOT TO DO THE REST OF THE QUESTIONS I AM SO DUMB but still I did well.

Philosophy: I just went in, wrote a jumble of everything I knew about epistemology, Kant, Bachelard, Popper and Plato, sprinkled some pep talk about freedom, and presented. I got my grade today; 14. BOOM. Highest.

[We interrupt our compte-rendu to inform you that our grading system is very very different from what you might be used to. We use actual numbers instead of singing the alphabet #woopsie. So yeah and the coefficient varies but I’ll just give you the grade over 20 to avoid confusion]

Civism: do you guys even have this stupidly useless subject? It’s where you learn about the law and stuff. I got 16.5 just like last time. Well I could’ve done better but it’s a very good grade compared to what I actually studied.

MATH: FUCK YOU MATH JUST FUCK YOU WHY IS IT THAT I ALWAYS UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING IN MATH BUT I DO AWFULLY IN THE TEST IT’S A CONSPIRACY I’M CONVINCED I still haven’t gotten my grade (tomorrow woohoo) but I’ll be lucky to get a sad 15. Not even. THEY JUST MAKE EVERYTHING SO HARD FOR US WHY GOD WHY THIS IS INJUSTICE I NEED to stop screaming.

Arabic: hm, actually not bad! The text was not unfamiliar and I got to trash talk celebrities in the writing assignment. Hopefully I’ll be able to scrape a 13!

[Another interruption: I understand, you must be *really* confused as to how 13 is considered good in one subject while 16 is not in another. Again, our grading standards are really weird and REALLY unfair and just generally shitty. Imagine that for half of our subjects, C/B/B- is the maximum grade. The literal maximum.]

Geography: I’ve been really lucky with these memory-based tests. I also did really well compared to what I studied! Because I didn’t even half study. Rebel.

Biology: I didn’t know at all what to expect, because our teacher is basically a lunatic and I had no idea if she had actually taught me anything. Turns out she *might* have? I didn’t find much difficulty in the test, hopefully that’d be reflected on my grades which I’ll get tomorrow!

French: one of my favorite subjects. The test was quite easy and I got a 14, my average (usually the highest grade but my friend Mini got 15 this time which is a great feat). The only thing that in perplexing is that we had the same subject for the writing as last year. And I got 5/8 this time while I got 6.5/8 last time. Guess it’s just teacher tastes!

History: I studied for this. Honestly. And I didn’t do bad. I’ll have to wait for lunday (WAIT WHAT I mixed Monday with Lundi I must be getting real sleepy lolz) for the grade but I hope it’s somewhere along 18.

Physics: THEY DID IT AGAIN! (This time it’s a happy scream). The test was SO EASY, honestly I love our teachers (YEAH YEAH I know I once wrote a whole post about how my physics teacher’s the biggest asshole BUT turns out he really is one of the best teachers this year). Thank GOD they gave us something to balance out the horrible Maths.

[Okay listen I always have to delete the “s” when I write Maths because you guys write it without one but that’s just how I’ve been taught so bye]

Last, but not least (well actually by some standards it IS least – least demanding, least exhausting, least… Thing), English! The English level at our school is so awfully standard that I pride myself on having actually reached the level of blogging and writing coherant stuff. So yep I did great. I always view the English exam as a fun little activity sheet.

Aaaaaand that’s it! Am I forgetting something?
Hmmmm
OH YES we had a religion exam (Catholic) and I got 16.5, not bad.

So NOW that’s it. Ugh, I can’t believe I’m DONE! Now I’ll have to wait for my grades. I WISH I had my scholarship secured, that way I wouldn’t give two shits about grades, but I have to do my best to earn the best scholarship I can.

I’ll make sure to post all my grades here, don’t worreh. I’m pretty sure you’re not remotely worrehd but oh well I’ll tell you anyway.

Wait has anyone even read this far?

Meh!

After our last exam, we had a little Valentine’s day celebration in the theatre (even though it was like 3 or 4 days later) and we sang and did some stuff but honestly not ONE performance wasn’t messed up somehow. (In the ‘mistake’ kind of messed up. Not the weird and disconcerting messed up. Although some stuff WAS weird and disconcerting. Huh.) But we still had fun especially that we were all so glad the exams were over.

Now it’s 12:33 A.M. and by the time of writing my internet connection is back again (yaaaay) and you’re not reading my past self anymore !

Oh but wait – I already established that everything is past me. Wo’evah. Bye!

89 thoughts on “A Post From My Past Self

  1. Civism? We have a subject called PSHE(C) which is basically citizenship. How can you get graded on that? Isn’t it something that you do if you’re interested and if you’re not, you’re f@&/!d when you enter the real world? The most useless subject here is probably Ethics. How can you grade someone based on their ethics, seriously?

    Liked by 2 people

        1. Haha omg, I saw our teacher pulling at his hair in desperation once! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜
          People literally show him no respect and someone found his Instagram, he better watch his back! πŸ˜±πŸ˜‚πŸ˜

          Liked by 1 person

  2. Civism sounds a lot like Social Studies….and I HATE it from the bottom of my heart! It’s so freaking useless and we have to study half a book for one stupid test. And I know what Maths (yes, with an s!) tests do to you. I always feel totally prepared until I see the test and start questioning my life.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hahahaa πŸ˜€ I CAN SO RELATE TO THE ALL CAPS ECTATIC FEELS HERE. My exams just got over too. Someone give me a jukebox, I need to do my victory dance. Victory over sleep deprivation, anxiety amongst other things.
    LOL the thing about math being super interesting and ridiculously ‘wait whaaat’-inducing at the same time? Insanely true, gahh.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. hi!!!wow!!you got really good marks!!*high five* yeah, same with me, i undertsand the maths, but the tests kill…and i write maths like with the s!!is civisim like PSHCE?if, so, don’t you find it boring and usless?!!our form teacher takes that lesson, and can’t control us!!Then, she attempts(we dont care!) at reprimanding us, because apparently, we are in year 8, and should be little angels, apparently something is wronge with our minds, because our white clothes and halos have been swapped for horns, devil arrow end tails and pitchforks!!after tests, don’t you get that feeling to either go crazy and scream, and laugh, and yeah,or sleep on your table?once i started laughing really loudly, and it set the class off, and I got kept behind the whole of lunch……..that sucked!!!byeXxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. OH MY GOD HOWW THIS IS LIKE THE 4TH PERSON WHO SAYS THEIR CIVISM/PSHCE/THING TEACHER CANT CONTROL THEM WOWW IS THIS LIKE IN THE JOB DESCRIPTION
      Also I TOTALLY get what you mean! I remember very clearly I got the same feeling once in like 2nd or 3rd grade, like ‘OH MY GOD THIS IS THE FINAL TEST AND AFTER THAT IT’S VACATION’ and I grinned so much.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. IKR!!yes, lol, maybe!!I wouldn’t like to be teacher for that subject!!Don’t they even get bored teching it?I would just be like, do the school expect me to teach this pile of bullshit?!!And, they like, take it so bloody seriously!!you say grade?are you from america?lol, dont mean to be nosy!!yep, that feeling is totally familiar!!how’s your first day back of term?Was it your first day back even?!!!!!byeXxx

        Liked by 1 person

          1. oh, so you live there?WOW!!THAT’S SO COOL!!!i RARELY GET OUT OF LONDON’S I HOUR RADIUS!!!Why was i using big caps??!!okay, i’m mental!!americans and like, people in places like asia also use grade, actually, pretty much almost all places except uk use grade, its just that america is most well known for its ‘grades’ whereas in uk and a few other places, we use ‘year’, and you said ‘vacation’ in uk, we say ‘holidays’ ‘term holidays’ and ‘half term holidays’!!!And the fact your english is just like anyone from england/america, basically, a country with the national language as english!!i get holidays (vacation) every six weeks, but its only for one week, and we get two weeks christmas, two weeks for easter and 6 weeks for summer!!its kinda rubbish because out of 52 weeks in a year, we only get 15 off!!The person who divided the school days, wasn’t very good at division in my opinion!!what do you mean, you don’t get vacation, you dont get days off??!!if so, do you bunk school?sometimes, like, around 5 days in a year i do!!!not like its something i should be proud about lol……….byeXxx

            Liked by 1 person

            1. No I meant I wasn’t in vacation *now*… We also get 2 weeks (or more, changes every year, this year and last we had 3) on Christmas and 2 weeks on Easter… And 3 months of summer holidays. You might think like ‘OMG 3 months wow I can’t lucky you’ but trust me it gets really boring to the point where you’re just wishing school would start again already (but maybe that’s just me). I wish we had the same program as you! A week off every month and a half!

              Liked by 1 person

              1. ohh, i was surprised cos i thought you never had vacation!!!lol, three months sound fun, but i agree with you!!especially cos’ my parents are really strict and extremely religious, and i am not, and they make me do things i don’t want to, like wear religious dress for instance, it creates huge arguments before we leave the house, because i won’t wear what they ask me, and yeah, now apart from school, were we have a uniform (dunno how i would live to go school without it!!)i dont like going out a lot anymore!!and my siblings are quite snitchy and annying, by the end of 6 weeks i am like yaaay!!the only thing i miss about holidays, are the fact that i go to my nan’s house, and see all my cousins, as all my cousins and nan and grandpa live an hour away from us, and i love the late mornings!!!thats all i really like tbh!!how bout you?oh, yeah, and by the way, i nominated you for a tag, pls check out my blog for more info. it is called:girl code-the way things should be, but i thought, that it would be good, to get opinions from both genders!!what’s your fave subject,a nd whats your worst?byexxx

                Liked by 1 person

                1. Thanks!!
                  Wow. That sucks. I know how religious parents could be… I hope when you’ll get older you’ll have more freedom! My fav subject… Music? Nah that’s not a real subject… I guess French. I never get bored, French literature is beautiful. My worst is… I don’t know I don’t really have a worst subject. I dislike some stuff but equally. And yours? And where are you from?

                  Liked by 1 person

                  1. your welcome!!hopefully, when i get older ill have more freedom, but i heard my parents talking that they would get me married off at 18, they want me to go uni, but me married too, like, thats not happening, and they want me to have kids young, like no way!!i wanna study, have a experience witha profffesional job, ten get married, and later think about children!!and they want me t live near them!!i wanna live like half an hour away tho, cos its not too far, and a safe distance too!!music is a real subject, i think!!i enjoy it, but my teacher is a pedo, like its really creepy!!my fave subject is science/german/pe or arabic writing, but my teacher says my pronounciation is shit, but i write like i am from an arabic speaking country!!my worst subject is probably geography!!me and my parents ad live in england, but my dad wasn’t born here, he came here, and my mums mum, who was also brought up from where my dad was born (bangladesh)arranged my mum and dads marriage, they didn’t see eachother properly till the marriage agreement day!!lol!!so i guess that makes me bengali??!!I actually have no idea about this stuff!!!do you have siblings?or a big family?have you ever been england?byeXxx

                    Liked by 1 person

                    1. I WISH I was in England once! I hope I’ll get to visit one day. Ugh. Your parents seem rather controlling… It’s not nice to hear especially since you live in such a developed country. I really hope you won’t get forced into marriage, that’d be awful.
                      I don’t really like Arabic even though it’s my first language… It’s so… Complicated and haughty! I could just sense the Arabian pride through it. But some texts are beautiful and the prose is too.
                      I have two sisters; my family is moderate (not huge, not small)

                      Liked by 1 person

                    2. yeah, england is fun, but one thing, living here makes you think everywhere is like un developed!!until i started blogging, i didn’t know, apart from america and uk, people had proper technology!!and my friends thought the same!!its like living in a bubble (a fun bubble), and you think most other countries aren’t that advanced?!yep, my parents are VERY controlling!!yeh, i hope so too!!or i could divorce, but then i would be a divorcee, and its not a nice thing i dont think, if the guys done nothing wrong to me, and if i did, i would prob be disowned by my parents, and tho i may be free, i would feel kinda upset too.i don’t realy know a lot of arabic or read proper text so yeah, i like it, because you easily just can quickly write it, ok, the dots can slow me down, but i don’t usually add, those lines, that go over or under the letter, or the one that looks like a backwards ‘p’ lying down!!i just write ordinary basic things like my name, which is in persian arabic, and things like i drink he drinks she drinks, etc!!i have a 5 year old brother and a nearly 10 year old sister!!i am the oldest tho!!so yeah!!!its the same size as yours!!tho, most people i know, dont have many siblings, either only child, or one sibling, very few have more than that!!okay, i’ll reply to your reply tomorrow, after i get back from school cos’ my mum is bugging me to have dinner, even tho, its currently 6 minutes past 9pm, and get off my laptop, what she doesn’t know is i am not doing hw, i always say i am when i am not, or else i wouldn’t be allowed to use the internet, or they would give me 20 mins, and watch me.awkward right?!talk to ya 2morrow then:)byeand good night(is it night in lebanon?)Xxx

                      Like

  5. Well good job on the good grades!! Hahah I’m having exams at the moment. Just two left though and I am literally in no mood of studying! Also,hahah I totally understand the B and C being the highest. Most of our teachers do that. So annoying though :/

    Liked by 1 person

  6. hi!!lol,you are probs thinking, ‘omg that annoying girl is back’ ….pls tell me if you are, i wont annoy then:)today, i forgot to log out of wordpress, and delete history, my mum, went on my laptop, then checked history, saw no traces of homework whatsoever, and found out that i have a blog!!!luckily she hasn’t seen my blog, just some of my notifications, because, after i while, i decided to check on my laptop, and i saw her so i quickly stormed into the room, pushed her hand and logged out!!lluckily, she only saw my chats with a girl, who is making some headers for me!!idk how badly she would punish me if she saw my other comments!!not like that is going to make me keep my mouth shut and only do what she likes!!today, my parents both went crazy, so i couldn’t log in earlier, or add a comment, i screamed at my brother to get lost, because he kept barging into my room while i was changing, and my parents go yell at me!!!i made some new plans tho, 1.stay at school till 5pm, so less time spent at home,2. lock myself into the bedroom (well,my parents took off my lock, because apparently, nothing should be private with family but you get what i mean ugh)…3.every time they make a new control freak rule,add one more roll to my skirt at school….my parents got me the longest size available, which is slightly above my ankles, i go to school very early, to escape home quicker, so not many students see me with my long skirt, rush to the bathroom, and roll my skirt, a little above my knees, do you think its a good idea?i dont want to look like a slut, or gay(not that i have a problem with gay people, but, like, i dont like the idea for myself), because i go to a girls only grammar school, and yeah.byeXxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow… That’s truly awful. I live in an ARAB country and girls have so much more freedom. What the hell?! Do they treat you well at least? If you know they love you and they’re doing it because they’re over protective then I might understand where they’re coming from, but if they’re just oppressing you it’s awful. Keep being the rebel that you are, and never delete this blo of yours because you have the freedon to do whatever you want!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. yeah, i know, and they are just like, oh yeah, they wanna move to an arab country, and i dont wanna, not cause its bad, but, because its a totally new place, i will be leaving my uncles and aunties cousins, friends and everything i’ve ever know behind!!yeah, they do love me, and don’t like me cruel, i do get a smack sometimes, but i dont really care,because, i go to kung fu class, which my dad told me to go for parent defence, so now, they know, if they go over with punishments, i can get nasty, and kung fu, isn’t very nice, and isn’t very martial artsy, its more life threat fighting!!i told my dad today in the car, because he was still lectruring me, 2 hours after my brother problem thing, what i did, and i said, he was barging in, my dad is like be patient, and he starts screaming why didn’t i tell him?i said i told my mum, and not him, because he always sides with my brother first, younger sister second, and me last, whereas, my mum, even if, in front of my dad, she would pretend to back him, she would take me to a room, and say, yeah do whatever you like punishment to him, cos he deserved it, and ill tell your dad you didn’t do anything.i think ist because they love to see that they are in charge, its the same with my mums mum, now i hate to bring her into this, but i trust you, so i will, basically, she makes me, on celebrations do work, instead of her sosn(my uncles) wives, she wont say a word to them, and she wont say it to any of my other cousisn cos she knows that their parents will back them, whereas, my mum really respects her mum, and would be like to me, just be patient!!i listened to her uptil year 7, now i dont take it, luckily, i’ve got the best uncles in the world, who back me, even if my mum cant!!and do you know what my dad did?he started screaming at me soo so so bad, saying i am a bitch and stuff, like i love my parents cos their my parents, but sometimes, i wish i could move out!!and then i cried, i dont cry when i get hurt physically, but when emotionally, even tho very rarely, i still can, but i dont like to, so i just turned around and looked out of the window so my dad couldn’t see me and pretedned that he didn’t exist lol!!yep, the blog, is the best thing thats happened to me, and yeah, i dont think i will stop being a rebel, and i have quite a strong mind if i put myself to something determindly!!tho, in some senses, i have a lot more freedom now, even if i feel more trapped, because all of primary i was homeschooled, because i was bullied constantly, i used to bunk, then my parents just took me out and homeshoolec me. like, then, it was loads of fun, they were like, parents i was proud of, just since i was like 7 they started slowly getting worse, so i didn’t realise it and i forgot what freedom actually, was, so i thought i was free, but in reality i wasn’t, especially being home all the time!!they knew then that i was terrified of going to school, so when i was bad behaved, thye wouild be like, i will get a school enrollment letter. that was when i started getting panic attacks, but i never told, them because i didnt know what theyd say of it!!in year 6, they decided to coach me for 11+, i passed, so i got into my school, and yeah, i was worried at first, but now i like, love it so so so much!!and, now, since, they realised that, they are using, well pull you out of school as a threat, this sunday, my mosque teacher (i hate it there but i have to go) complained to my mum that i laugh and talk to much, and made loads of lies about me, so my parents went a bit mental, they didnt shout though, they were just like, okay, youre being homeschooled again, so i had to put on my begging sorry face and be like ‘oh, please give me one more week, i promise ill be on my best behaviour, then you can decide’ so they agreed, even though, i am just acting to be good, cos i am good at acting and faking from all my experience lol!!i told my teacher, about the panic stuff, and she says i prob have mild anxiety, which i aint telling anyone!!!okay, except you are the only person i told!!did anything fun today?lol!!dont you think i use far too many lols and exclamation marks!!!hey, what time is it in lebanon??!!its 8:24pm here, and yeah., my dad keeps trying to sneak up to my screen, to see what i am up to,,, but i have become very alert with experience, and i always have an extra study tab of soemthing, so i just cancel my blog tab, and petend i am using the study tab!!!byeXxx

        Liked by 1 person

        1. It’s 11PM now πŸ™‚
          I just hate it when they side with the boys, I see it a LOT where I live (grandma always sides with me against my sisters… Well even though I benefit from it and love granny so much I don’t like this mysoginy)
          I really can’t believe how they threaten you with school… Wow. You could write a book.

          Liked by 1 person

          1. oh, you were up on your laptop late lol!!i have to be in bed by usually 10:30…yeah, lol, maybe it would be funny t do a bookl, and ask them to tell me what they think of the characters!!i wont use our names though, ill change the names lol!!

            Liked by 1 person

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