A Post From My Past Self

My past self is speaking… And it wants to tell you something.

My past self is saying… You are all being trolled. There is no past self. This is not a dramatic post.

Well technically I’m not lying – this is my past self talking. You see, my internet connection has sadly passed away recently and I’m offline but I CAN’T NOT FREAK OUT ABOUT MY EXAMS BEING OVER so I’ll just write this and post it when I get the chance. So when you read this… It’ll be my past self talking!

Oh but wait. Isn’t everything you read written by somebody’s past self?

And I thought I was being clever. Silly me.

Aaaaanyway, OMFG YAS MY EXAMS ARE OVAAAAAA

AFTER ALL THESE YEARS MONTHS WEEKS

I AM SO HAPPY EVEN THOUGH I DID TERRIBLE IN MATH but good in the rest so oh well.

I feel you deserve a compte-rendu of all my exams. Joking, of course you don’t, I just want to give you a compte-rendu because I’m that generous. Joking again, I actually just really like writing compte-rendus. And writing the word “compte-rendu” too. Fun!

Chemistry: first exam! I went in being eaten by nerves. I knew the first exercice. Then I didn’t know the second. Then I looked over the whole test and almost fainted because I saw so many stuff I had no idea about what they meant. I decided to skip the second exercice, and do what I know. So yeah I ended up completing all the exercices (I always freak out over nothing). I came back to the second exercice and in my THRILL about knowing how to solve the first question I FUCKING FORGOT TO DO THE REST OF THE QUESTIONS I AM SO DUMB but still I did well.

Philosophy: I just went in, wrote a jumble of everything I knew about epistemology, Kant, Bachelard, Popper and Plato, sprinkled some pep talk about freedom, and presented. I got my grade today; 14. BOOM. Highest.

[We interrupt our compte-rendu to inform you that our grading system is very very different from what you might be used to. We use actual numbers instead of singing the alphabet #woopsie. So yeah and the coefficient varies but I’ll just give you the grade over 20 to avoid confusion]

Civism: do you guys even have this stupidly useless subject? It’s where you learn about the law and stuff. I got 16.5 just like last time. Well I could’ve done better but it’s a very good grade compared to what I actually studied.

MATH: FUCK YOU MATH JUST FUCK YOU WHY IS IT THAT I ALWAYS UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING IN MATH BUT I DO AWFULLY IN THE TEST IT’S A CONSPIRACY I’M CONVINCED I still haven’t gotten my grade (tomorrow woohoo) but I’ll be lucky to get a sad 15. Not even. THEY JUST MAKE EVERYTHING SO HARD FOR US WHY GOD WHY THIS IS INJUSTICE I NEED to stop screaming.

Arabic: hm, actually not bad! The text was not unfamiliar and I got to trash talk celebrities in the writing assignment. Hopefully I’ll be able to scrape a 13!

[Another interruption: I understand, you must be *really* confused as to how 13 is considered good in one subject while 16 is not in another. Again, our grading standards are really weird and REALLY unfair and just generally shitty. Imagine that for half of our subjects, C/B/B- is the maximum grade. The literal maximum.]

Geography: I’ve been really lucky with these memory-based tests. I also did really well compared to what I studied! Because I didn’t even half study. Rebel.

Biology: I didn’t know at all what to expect, because our teacher is basically a lunatic and I had no idea if she had actually taught me anything. Turns out she *might* have? I didn’t find much difficulty in the test, hopefully that’d be reflected on my grades which I’ll get tomorrow!

French: one of my favorite subjects. The test was quite easy and I got a 14, my average (usually the highest grade but my friend Mini got 15 this time which is a great feat). The only thing that in perplexing is that we had the same subject for the writing as last year. And I got 5/8 this time while I got 6.5/8 last time. Guess it’s just teacher tastes!

History: I studied for this. Honestly. And I didn’t do bad. I’ll have to wait for lunday (WAIT WHAT I mixed Monday with Lundi I must be getting real sleepy lolz) for the grade but I hope it’s somewhere along 18.

Physics: THEY DID IT AGAIN! (This time it’s a happy scream). The test was SO EASY, honestly I love our teachers (YEAH YEAH I know I once wrote a whole post about how my physics teacher’s the biggest asshole BUT turns out he really is one of the best teachers this year). Thank GOD they gave us something to balance out the horrible Maths.

[Okay listen I always have to delete the “s” when I write Maths because you guys write it without one but that’s just how I’ve been taught so bye]

Last, but not least (well actually by some standards it IS least – least demanding, least exhausting, least… Thing), English! The English level at our school is so awfully standard that I pride myself on having actually reached the level of blogging and writing coherant stuff. So yep I did great. I always view the English exam as a fun little activity sheet.

Aaaaaand that’s it! Am I forgetting something?
Hmmmm
OH YES we had a religion exam (Catholic) and I got 16.5, not bad.

So NOW that’s it. Ugh, I can’t believe I’m DONE! Now I’ll have to wait for my grades. I WISH I had my scholarship secured, that way I wouldn’t give two shits about grades, but I have to do my best to earn the best scholarship I can.

I’ll make sure to post all my grades here, don’t worreh. I’m pretty sure you’re not remotely worrehd but oh well I’ll tell you anyway.

Wait has anyone even read this far?

Meh!

After our last exam, we had a little Valentine’s day celebration in the theatre (even though it was like 3 or 4 days later) and we sang and did some stuff but honestly not ONE performance wasn’t messed up somehow. (In the ‘mistake’ kind of messed up. Not the weird and disconcerting messed up. Although some stuff WAS weird and disconcerting. Huh.) But we still had fun especially that we were all so glad the exams were over.

Now it’s 12:33 A.M. and by the time of writing my internet connection is back again (yaaaay) and you’re not reading my past self anymore !

Oh but wait – I already established that everything is past me. Wo’evah. Bye!