Heh not really.
Today was the last day of school before Christmas break.
I now have 12 days to do my homework in time! How exciting!
So anyway, there was a small Christmas show at school, including a medley of Christmas songs and three skits.
I’ve promised myself to be more involved in stuff this year, so I participated with the choir. Oh, and I also got the main role in a skit.
Yes, I kid you not. Me, theVeryAwkwardGuy, with the infamous shyness.
Well, about that. I’ve noticed I’m becoming less and less shy by the day. I’m speaking to people I never looked at before, I’m doing things I never dreamed I’d do, I’m happier. I’m also not taking as much shit.
I had been offered a very small role in a drama play last year, but I turned it down because I was scared I’d fuck up my line.
This year, when my theater teacher asked me to do a comedy skit where I’m a main character, I said yes. That’s progress, right?!
I practiced daily, and it turned out to be quite fun. But I still wasn’t completely sold on the idea of performing in front of the whole school.
But it’s not like I really had a choice, so I did.
The skit is about a psychologist and his patient, who keeps forgetting everything every two seconds. He has no idea where he is, or even who he is. And as the doctor (me) talks to him, he starts to lose patience. A LOT.
So anyway, I don’t remember much of the performance, honestl
cause I was in a state of sort of overwhelmingness but clear mindedness. How do I explain… It’s like I was overwhelmed by the fact that I was up on stage in front of 200 people but it didn’t make me forget my lines and stuff, I just didn’t focus on anything but what I had to say and do.
What I remember, though, is that the stupid shitty table I was supposed to roll out before we start got caught in the curtains and no one bothered to help me free it.
I remember how fast my heart was beating when I started with my first few lines.
I remember how hot the spotlight felt and wondered if they could turn that fucking thing away before I start screaming.
I remember that there were really rude audience members but these were very few.
I remember how I was scared no one was going to applaud at the end but then they did.
I remember the foolish smile of relief I gave the audience at the end.
*no more remembering*
Oh yeah I also remember that my friends said I was great and that being a doctor suits me, but at that point my overwhelmed-calmness state was gone.
I still can’t believe I did this! Yay!
I want to do it again. Yay for the English Day! (You’ll know what that is when the time comes. Lol at me sounding mysterious ‘n shiz)
The performance wagon doesn’t stop here, oh no. I’m giving my
first solo first THREE solos tomorrow at a recital in my hometown, but that’s not remotely as nerve-wracking because the audience is 5 times smaller and everyone else sounds awful. #modest
Oh wait it’s two solos and a duet. Still 😀