What the fuck is wrong with me?

I was reading Goblet of Fire and I suddenly realized how much I’m in love with Hermione and how we’d have gotten along if we were together. And how I’ll never find anyone like her. And how the only person I think of that way is fictional. And then a song I was listening to helpfully stated ‘No one will love you if you’re unattractive’ and I jolted up. And then Harry and Ron did something just so that Hermione could shut up, and I started crying because SHE’S THE MOST PRECIOUS DIAMOND AND YOU’RE UNGRATEFUL GITS AND I’D GIVE ANYTHING JUST TO BE IN YOUR PLACE and then I remembered again that these were all fictional characters and tears were streaming down my cheeks at this point. That of course happened because I was already at breaking point due to other way more personal problems. I do not run around crying over stuff like this all the time, please. It just happened that I was feeling very neglected at that time.

Ugh. If I could just drop dead. So many people would be relieved.

P.S: After about an hour I made the regretful mistake of rewatching Deathly Hallows Part 2. I really don’t think I’ve cried this much in my life. 

It felt odd but also quite great getting it all out of my system, and I would have continued sobbing for an hour more, if not for my parents who came and made me realize how stupid I’d look sitting at my kitchen table in a puddle of tears in front of my laptop watching kids wave to their parents.
And to top it all off, Cry Baby, the album I reviewed a couple of days ago, is driving me mad. It’s probably one of the best albums I’ve heard this year, maybe even ever. And it’s connecting to me in a way I have rarely experienced, which is amazing, but also brings me a bundle of feels and emotions that keep haunting me and making everything gloomy. Which leads to more unexplicable weeping.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

I’m pathetic. Help.

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