July 26th

No one fucking cares that it’s my birthday and it’s disgusting.

It’s not like my birthday is the single most important event of the year, but it’s the one day when others have the chance to express their affection for you and shit like that, so I feel like it’s a big deal and I try to act that way with others, but they don’t do the same.

Some of my friends are worrying about me having a great birthday more than the people who are supposed to make my birthday great. They don’t give a flying fuck.

And then some friends just wanna tell me their life stories and don’t care that I need someone to tell me that it’s okay and that who cares about my stupid sisters who have never done a single nice thing for me and that at least I have them to congratulate me on staying alive for 16 years straight, but no.

Like all I want is for someone to say “I heard it’s yo bday so like you can have a bit of my chocolate bar” and that would be the nicest thing ever. But what is actually happening is that I’m begging my sister to give me a bit of her precious internet/3G bandwidth/whatever it’s called and she’s like no get your own internet. It’s a good thing I have dad who kinda felt sorry for me and let me use his. Or that I’m just asking them to leave the stupid lights on while they’re watching tv so that I can peacefully read my book, but noo. They’re watching tv with the lights off and everybody else could go fuck themselves.

I just want my friends to be here so we could spend time together like we do on a normal day without any of the fancy schmancy presents and failed attempts at birthday surprises and deathly hallows shaped cakes that look fucking fantastic, but that’s not the point. The point is that I need affection. Just that.

And I want to start blogging so that I could let people know how I feel even though they probably don’t give a shit, just to get it off my chest.

And I’ll try to limit the number of cliché phrases like this past one.

And I bet no one’s even gonna ever find out about this.

And I feel ridiculous because this probably gonna get deleted in a few minutes.

Or not.

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